Little Sicily Shares All...

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!!!

Good bye to 2009. I wish you well, you will never be forgotten...

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Dating Chronicles # 12, What the hell was I thinking?

June 2005, age 22

I think that we all have one person that we date in our lives that no matter how many times we think about about the relationship, it just makes no sense that you would have ever dated them...Meet Topher I met him on Myspace (bad), he had no money (real bad), he didn't have a car (very bad)...and, he was an ASSHOLE!!! No redeeming qualities what so ever.

I met him at a time in my life when I felt alone, sad, and desperate. James and I were done- I was looking for something totally different. All the red flags didn't mean anything to me, I just wanted someone.

This guy made me more depressed than I was to begin with. He would say mean things to me- such as: "I can't believe you dated black guys, girls that date black guys are so trashy." He would tell me I was stupid, and I actually believed him at a point.

I knew that this was turning bad when he yelled at me for 45 min about not believing that it took me 40 min to drive home...hell it's Chicago and there is traffic. It doesn't matter that id is less than 10 miles away.

I finally couldn't take it anymore...we got into a fight and I got out of the car- that was pretty much the end of it. It last way too long (3-4 months maybe). And I regretted (for a long time) not cheating on him. I know that sounds super shady, but somewhere in the middle of being with him- James came back into town...still trying for us to work it out. I remember being in this hotel room- pushed up against the wall- pushing him off of me because I had a boyfriend now.

I remember that moment as if it was yesterday...until I found out that James was actually with his now wife at the time- I thought that could of gotten us back together...ha. Needless to say, I no longer regret it!

I was young and stupid and had horrible taste in guys...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Is love a lie?


It was never you, never meant to be you. You are not the exception; you were never the “one.”


The feeling of being empty, alone, walls caving in, your heart dropping, a waterfall of tears, all the time wasted, hoping, thinking, wishing, and at some points praying.


At yourself, for being fooled, being taken advantage of, played and pushed aside.


Backing away, halting all communication, moving on, forgiveness.

I can't wait till the 12th of December

December 12, 2009 12Pm I will be taking my final test for the AIC certification. I can't wait until it is done and over with. I will finally be free again. I have this long list of stuff I would like to do but haven't be able to because I need to be studying instead. It makes me feel guilty to do other things, knowing that I should be at home studying for this test.

I am leaving for AZ tomorrow (planned before the test was) for a weekend trip with my sisters!!! We are going to visit my cousin for her birthday celebration...her sister and best friend will be there too. I'm sooo excited!!! This is sadly going to be my fist time going to AZ. It will be a fun filled weekend...I just feel horribly guilty that I'm not going to have much study time. I am planning on studying on the plane rides- so that is a good 6 hours (total- there and back).

Side note: I'm so annoyed with the media...I don't care about who is cheating on who- it is a personal matter people- would you want all of your business broad casted to the world? Probably not- so he cheated, what male athlete hasn't?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm playing Tombola (Italian Bingo)....hope I win some cash!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My despise for the "Catty Girl Syndrome"

This weekend I was blessed to be in the company of some very catty girls...oh lucky for me!!!

I'm not a catty, & it is hard for me to deal with girls that are. Honeslty, I don't understand why some woman are...what is the point of it all. Is being mean, cold, rude, and 2 faced really get you anywhere in life? I tend to believe not.

I loathe when people judge you for things that they really don't know about. Especially when they don't even know you- don't we all know that "assuming" makes an ass out of you?

Ok I'm done venting- had I written this before it may have been much worse. Bottom line - be nice to everyone, don't judge someone on something you know nothing about, and that occured years ago.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Quote of the Day

It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it.
W. Mitchell

My sister sent me this quote today, and I couldn't agree with it more. Life is full of challenges, wins, losses, defeats, set backs, accomplishments, etc. How you get there, and what you do when you get there is really all that counts. It's not enough to just get to the place you want to be, or have something good or bad happen to you and then give up. You have to keep working on it, addressing the issue, and learning from your mistakes.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I'm in DENIAL...

Winter is offically starting...frost on my car in the am, pitch black at 4:30, trees are bare. I'm not ready for this.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My Quarter Life Crisis

Lately I have been so confused with what I want in my life. One minute I'm embracing the single life, and living it up- the next minute I'm wishing I had a man to cuddle me every night. Some days I love my condo and I'm so proud of myself for buying at such a young age. That is followed by me feeling trapped and wishing that I could just pick up and leave, move to the City or any other city but here. I wonder if my job choice is right..(still won't call it a career), wonder if I'm too old to still be pulling the same shenanigans that I did years before.

I think about it often, and wonder if I'm living life the way I should be. When I was younger things were so much easier, and I thought that I had it all figured out. In 8th grade (keep in mind I went to a Catholic grade school) I decided that I hated telling the priest all the bad things that I did that month, so I was just going to stop doing bad things. Now, the line between good and bad is blurred- have I lost the morals that I once had? I don't really know what I stand for anymore and it makes me so sad and disappointed with myself.

I'm searching for clarity, but don't even know where or how to start. How are we supposed to know that we are making the right choice? Does one right choice even exist- probably not. Do I feel trapped because I'm just too afraid to let go of what I know?

Could I just be going through a quarter life crisis two years late?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Dating Chronicles # 11, the short lived adventure with TB

I have taken a long break from my dating chronicles; but the stories must now go on!

I met TB at Betty's Blue Star Lounge; in my early 20's that was one of my favorite after hours place. I couldn't begin to tell you where I had been earlier that night- but I'm sure I had had a blast and was surely plastered by the time that I got there. It was just Micha and I that night. I recall that the two of us were minding our own business, dancing our asses off, when TB and his friend approached us.

I remember more drinking and more dancing. When the lights came on, TB asked me for my number; normally I would of given him a fake number, but I enjoyed his company and also enjoyed looking at him.

The next day, TB called me, and we decided to meet at a bar in between our houses...he lived in the City (burbs for me). At the time, I was still living at home, and my mother was less then thrilled that I was going to some random bar to meet up with a random boy that I had met at a bar the night before...if only she know all the bad things I've done! It was a good time...though he kept calling me boo and I wasn't having it.

Our dating was short lived- maybe 4 weeks. He had a problem that I still lived at home, I didn't want to have sex with him because I didn't trust him, and he worked may too much.

Yea that pretty much sums it up...only that to this day he will still randomly call or text me. I think that I've seen him maybe 3 times since...his head physically got bigger and I no longer think that he is nice to look at.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Red Cup

Starbucks Love:

I can't believe it is already that time of year! I love when Starbucks uses the red cups! It's the little things in life that make me the most happy. This am i enjoyed Christmas in a cup!

Oh Blogosphere

I miss you so much! I await for the day when I can visit you frequently again. I hope that day comes soon...I have so much to share!!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Quote of the day

He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Job Interview Gone Bad

Last Tuesday, I had a job interview for a part time job at one of my favorite shopping spots. I was feeling sick, and not really in the mood to be there. The manager was asking me questions, and most of my answered sounded good. Then, she asked me "so what magazines do you read?" For most this question wouldn't bring out a panic, but for me...ummm....I don't read magazines. The only one I could think of was Mademoiselle...hey guess what they stopped publishing in November of 2001...crap!
Don't think that will work out for me...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Bring me the meat!!!

My 27th birthday has come and gone; I am only left with memories that will last a life time. Such as...I look damn good for having 5 kids (while pointing to her uterus) or I'm a 34 year old GRANDMA. Ahh yes, it's always an adventure.

Wednesday night, the festivities officially began. I hoped on a train to the City and met up with BC for a fabulous date. We hit up a couple bars before going to dinner at Fago de Chao holy eating!!! It's a delicious Brazilian steak house and they serve you meat from the stick, and it keeps coming! They give you a card board chip, green means bring me the meet and red stay away. I swear 3 seconds after flipping to green you have 7 choices of meet coming at you. The service was excellent, the meat was phenomenal, and the drinks kept coming. We sat and ate (and drank) for hours. Since we ate 1000 pounds of food we were still 100% sober.

After dinner we went on a carriage ride (aww how romantic...hehehe). It was very lovely; we were taken around the gold coast, such beautiful homes! An hour later, we were ready for more drinks! We went to the Kerryman and that is where I rung in 27!!!

I took Thursday (my birthday) off of work because I never work on my birthday, it's a Dani made law. BC had gotten me a cute birthday cake decorated in pink, white, and colors!!! It was super sugary and yummy...a sugar rush resulted. Since it was cold and rainy, we decided that going to bars and drinking all day would be our best option...and so we did!

I remember D4 because there is the coolest looking bench booth...I want one for home! I also remember the Reagle Beagle because that place rocks!!!

Later on that night, I met my sister's at the Mambo Room In La Grange. It is a cute little tapas place. I really like the way the it is decorated, i just wish that more people where there. It had an emptiness to it. After dinner we went a near by bar for more drinking!!!

Since I'm sick, have been since the beginning of last week- Friday was my day of rest. It was so nice to lay around all day long. I discovered a new show- Criminal Minds. About an FBI team that solves crime- really any crime show I watch I like!

Saturday was my official birthday party...THE DANI B DRUNK BAR CRAWL.

To be continued (I have to work- what is that all about?)

Quote of the Day

Make the most of everyday!!!

Short, sweet, and so simple....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A reflective conversastion

This afternoon I had a very interesting conversation with one of my married guy friends. It started through email, regarding an upcoming visit to Chicago with his wife. In said email, he stated that he was going to "lobby for some man time." This is a foreign concept to me...why do you have to lobby for some time with your friends? Shouldn't you just be given time to do what you want? Is that what marriage is, having to ask permission to hang out with friends?

That doesn't make sense to me, though you may have a partner, does that take away from all your personal freedom? I understand that certain things are a no no, but hanging out with a friend, something as simple as that, does your significant other really have a say in that? (I understand if you have prior plans to do something else) To me, that is controlling and who wants to be in a controlling relationship? Shouldn't there be love and trust in a relationship? Won't resentment start to grow since you are putting your wants and needs aside for your partner? It should be a give and take in my opinion.

I know that all people and relationships are different, and that I also am not the typical female. In my relationships, I have always encouraged my guy to go out with his friends, because I want my girl time. It it normal for people to ask their significant other if they can do something? Is that why my past relationships have failed?

I think that marriage is a balance, I get that you shouldn't go wild and crazy, and that sometimes, you can't always get to do what you want. I'm not completely naive to the concept of a relationship...I realized that I have ill and negative feelings toward marriage right now. I don't think that I am bitter, more so just a realist. I question if the whole concept of marriage is even possible...seeing the marriages of both of my sister's fall apart has surely added to this.

I still want to hold on to the belief that two people can meet, fall in love, and continue to love each other day after day, year after year no matter what. I do still want to believe in the art of compromise and sacrifice to make a marriage work. I really do want to believe that two people can be honest, loyal, and faithful to each other. With that in mind, I have decided to focus on keeping my eyes open to the possibility that does still exist...I will use my parents as a focal point. After 35 years of marriage they still love each other and love to be around each other. Sure they fought and will fight in the future, and they annoy each other, but through it all they have stayed at each other's side. If my parents can do it, then the possibility still exist and I will have to actively stop thinking negative thoughts towards marriage.

So, I guess it is not such a horrible thing to ask your significant other what's going on for the day...make sure that they don't need you to do anything for them, or have ill feelings towards you hanging with certain people or at certain places. More so just to be considerate of their feelings, and not for permission.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The waiting game

It always amazes me that in my office they do server reboots doing working hours. "All programs must be shut down by Noon. You will be able to sign back on by 12:30. The internet will not be affected by the server reboot." It is now 1Pm and the programs I need are still not working. Why don't they do this after work? Well, this will give me a chance to write- guilt free!

On Saturday, I went to a wine tasting...Lynfred Winery in Roselle, Illinois. I was able to sample 6 wines for only $9. My cousin invited me for one of her friend's birthday. I figured why not...little did I know that it would be 5 couples and me. I'm not sure if I would of gone had I known before. I can honestly say that I have never been in the situation before. 1. because I always seem to have a boyfriend and 2. because had I know I would not of gone.

It was sort of interesting to watch all the couples...just to observe their know when they think that no one is watching. I think it is fun sit to sit back and watch. The cute things that they do, or the rolling of the eyes, the I'm going to kick your ass look if you son't shut up. All very funny. I think that you learn alot about a person by just watching I'm not a creepy stalker. It was just easier for me to pay attention to other people's behavior, since I didn't have someone to pay attention to.

I started to get annoyed, when the conversastion turned to me, and who they could set me up we really need to go there? I'm not really wanting to be set up- I'm good just being me right now. I attempted to explain this to them (most of these people just meeting for the first time on Saturday) that I have had a boyfriend since I hit puberty, and I'm good just being me for now- they didn't seem to understand that concept.

This weekend, I realized that I really need to focus on my life and what I want. I just need to figure that out. I have time...

In the meantime though- I need to start going back to the gym regularly...2 times a week will not cut it. I signed up for days to take my test (insurance classes), so I hope that will get me to work on that...I was doing so good up to chapter 3...hahaha.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

On Life

When life throws you lemons, make some fucking lemonade and make sure to add the alcohol!!!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Childhood days

Tonight I am spending the night at my parent's house. This will be the second time in three years since I bought my own place. Tomorrow AM I'm flying out to Denver & it will just be easier if I don't have to drive here @ 530Am! Being here, in my old bedroom always reminds me of my childhood days. Such fun memories I have in here...all the different ways I had it decorated throughout the years...all the slumber parties. Things were so much simplier then. I question why I was so eager to grow up? Ahhh well at least for tonight, I can pretend I'm still a little kid! I'm planning on searching for some old photos...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


I'm sitting at starbucks (thats right I have caved) sipping on my light sugary coffee drink, waiting for my friends. Waiting seems to be a trend in my life. I feel like i have been waiting to really start my life since I was a kid. I recall a time in the 4th grade when I was hoping to skip ahead to high school to start really living. While in high school I waited for college to start my life. Granted I have enjoyed my life and have had many
experinces and great memories. But I still find myself waiting. I want to stop waiting, stop pushing stuff off until tomorrow, and start living!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Quote of the day

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas Edison

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It's AIC time!

This is what is keeping me busy lately. I have signed up for two online insurance classes. I'm working towards an AIC, figure I may get a better raise...

I started taking classes for it last year I think, but have been very slow going through it. I just want it to be done and over with, hence the two classes at once. I have actually read the first chapters in the text books and they were surprisingly interesting. I think maybe throughout my whole college career I read maybe 10 chapters in total...haha. It should be noted that I did graduate with honors.

I shall see if my motivation to keep up with the classes lasts. My other classes where all completed at the last min- ahhh the beauty of online classes. Right now I'm deciding if I should go swimming or read...ummm...I think that swimming is going to win! It's so nice out though!!!

Plus, the past 2 days I have been working on it nonstop. I even went to the Library...haven't been in once since college- 5 years ago. I decided that working on it at home won't work...too many distractions. At least until I remember what it's like to be a student again. Ha, by that time I'll be done.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

It's been 1 month

Hello, my name is Dani and I'm a Starbuck-a-holic. It's been 1 month since I have been sober. In this month I have saved over $125. It has been a difficult month, there have been several times when my need/want for Starbucks was so strong; I feared that my addiction would overcome my will power to withstand.

I can only hope that I'm strong enough to make it another month!

Lazy Sunday

This is how i will be spending my day! Ahhh how I love summer!

I spent all day playing in my parent's pool, my childhood days were filled of swimming in the pool for hours on end. Today was a beautiful day to spend laying around in the pool.

After swimming, I finished up by using my parent's outdoor is actually very nice to shower outside. I remember when my father built it I made fun of him, but the few times that I have used it, I see it's beauty. There is something very relaxing about showering outdoors.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Go Roma

I'm shopping with my sisters and we stopped at Go Roma for lunch. This is my first mobile post! Hope that it works.

The pizza that I had was excellent- it was the sun dried tomato and goat cheese pizza. Also had spinach, black olives, and mozz wonderfully good. I recommend to all!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dating Chronicles # 10, "I'm 23 plus 10"

I was in my early 20's and on a break with time table I can remember.

I was at a local "club" with Mary on a Friday night- we wanted to go out dancing, but didn't feel like making the drive to the City. So we head to The Lodge...while walking in, I see this handsome black male, with an excellent looking body: nice and tight and firm, I also enjoyed his outfit (the important things I know)!

So Mary and I get to dancing and we are having a good old time and the boy approaches, makes some small talk and then asks if I would dance with him. It was nice to have a guy actually ask if we could dance instead of him assuming that I would want to- so I said sure- that and the fact that I thought he was HOT!

I danced with him for most of the night, and thought that he was nice. So, at the end of the night, when he asked for my number I was more then happy to give it to him. I couldn't remember his name for the life of me, so the next day I had a friend call him (it was an oops wrong #). He said his name was Danny. When he called and left me a message later that day he said his name was Nigel...RED FLAG.

I don't remember much about him, besides that he had 2 names, was a black man with an English accent, and was part of the Israeli Intelligence? Yeah I'm not too sure...He had just moved to the area and was living with a random family. RED FLAGS all over the place. I remember looking through his wallet and find fake credit cards with all different names on them...more RED FLAGS.

So Danny/Nigel told me that he was day he decided to tell me that he was 23 plus 10...RED FLAG. I also remember him telling me that he had lost $25K at the airport while flying to the states...RED FLAG who would carry that much cash? And he couldn't pay for our dinner on a date, but a week later he picked me up in his brand new Mercedes...yea RED FLAG.

Danny/Nigel and I did not date very long. One thing he was good at was hugging- he gave the best hugs felt like the whole world was at a standstill and I was the only living thing...

Any ideas on him? I think that he was a scam artist...and that the 3 weeks we dated was 3 weeks too much!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Tuesday Night Date Night

Last night, I went on a wonderful date to the D.O.C Wine Bar. We sat outside, had great conversation, great food, and great drinks! Wine is half off for "happy hour;" Illinois bans happy hour...bitches! To go along with our wine, we decided to get a platter with cheeses and meats. I learned yesterday that I am sheltered when it comes to cheese. I have tried basic American cheeses, and some Italian cheeses, but I honestly have no clue about cheese.

We picked two Cheddar flavors (to be safe) and the most wonderful tasting Gouda. I have never had Gouda before, and I'm super picky, so I was nervous. It was awesome though it tasted like nuts and maple; it's call Marieke Gouda Foenegreek. If you have an opportunity to try it- I suggest you do! You will not be disappointed.

I would like to continue to try more/different cheeses. I have noticed that every time I do try another cheese, I tend to like it. Plus wine and cheese how can you go wrong?

We finished the night with an awesome dessert...the Lincoln Park Warm Chocolate Chip Cookie with Vanilla Ice Cream and Rum Carmel. The cookie is served in a VERY hot skillet -I burned myself, right after the waitress told us to be careful not to touch the skillet. Go me! I tend to burn myself right arm alone has 5 burn marks alone. Did I mention that I'm clumsy and not too careful when it comes to hot things?

I plan of going back to the D.O.C Wine Bar and would recommend others to try it too. They have other things to drink/eat besides wine and cheese if that is not your thing. It's reasonably priced and the service was good. We sat outside; I <3 dinning alfresco, but the inside is very clean and modern. I really enjoyed the whole experience.

Thanks JD for a wonderful date night!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My Wish List

Since I'm on a saving money kick, and can't purchase any of my desires, I will have to make a wish list...anyone who is feeling generous and wants to donate to the Dani is poor fund, feel free to! Donations are welcome...

So here is goes...just to make sure that we are all on the same page, I know that I'm materialistic, but a girl can wish can't she....

First on the list: A 40 inch LCD flat pretty

Next on the list is the CANON POWER SHOT D10 12.1 MEGAPIXEL...this camera can go underwater, is freeze proof, and can be tossed around alittle with out breaking it. Since I drop everything is camera is great!

Next on the list is a Vera Bradley purse, laptop bag, and file folders...too bad her products are mostly made in China...even if I had the money, I wouldn't be able to but them :(.

This is the Carnaby Saddle Up

This is the Bali Gold Laptop Bag

And the Calypso File Folders

That is all for now...I'll be sure to update my list!

The Four Eyes Club

I recall many a time in grade school making fun of my peers for wearing glasses. Lucky for me, my vision was intact until puberty hit. In my childhood days, I was able, like all other 20/20 vision children, to throw out the "whatever you have four eyes" insult.

To my dismay, puberty struck and my vision went south...isn't that supposed to happen when your old? Lucky for me, my mother and her crazy Sicilian ways excluded me from the four eyes club until my 19th year of existence. She was positive that it was puberty causing me not to see- so for years I dealt with it...

What shocked me when I finally joined the four eyes club, was the positive attention that I received from my glasses. Granted, I have an impeccable sense of fashion and style (why all of a sudden do I hear Carly Simon singing Your so Vein?) so I was able to pick out a pair that suited me well...I was all nervous about people making fun of me because I looked nerdy in glasses, but all I can really remember getting lots and lots and lots of sex after getting my glasses...apparently, guys (at least the guys I date) seem to love the sexy librarian look. Low and behold, glasses have worked their magic for me again....lots and lots of sex!

On Friday, I finally decided to go to the eye doctor...after wearing 2 week lens for 8 months, I decided that I had to go. They were my last pair of lens; there were tiny pieces around the edges missing...super nasty, yes I know. I'm bad at going to doctors...

I am now the proud owner of new contacts and fun/sey green glasses....that I love!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I want to scream....

I received this email:

"Ordering a Pizza in 2012

This is absolutely hilarious, but the scary part about it is that it's probably not too far away from being reality, providing Obama has his way with socialized medicine, and digitizing medical records.

Want to know how to order a pizza in 2012? Click the link and see.

Turn up the volume, listen closely and watch the pointer!"

I will admit that it is funny...hahaha you call to order a pizza and they have all your information- hilarious - sure whatever.

What makes me so angry is the message behind it...Obama and Socialized Medicine...for the love of god people- that is not what he is trying to accomplish. A national health care system would benefit this country- there are so many people who file for bankruptcy because they can't pay medical bills. The United States is the only industrialized nation that does not guarantee access to health care as a right of citizenship. If we had a national health care system, the country would be saving money (taking out administrative costs) and all citizens would be covered. To me, that is not socialism, that is making sure you take care of your citizens...

Also, with a national health system, There would be no management of care, unlike the current managed care system which mandates insurer preapproval for services thus undercutting patient confidentiality and taking health care decisions away from the health care provider and no worries, when you go to order a pizza, they will not have all your information readily available. SUCH BULLSHIT...grrr makes me angry. I hate hate hate when people use humor to try to coerce people into believing what they want them to.

It pisses me off the some crazy right wing republic is sending out this email as a scare tactic; and what pisses me off even more is all the ignorant people who will see this and believe it will happen. GRRRRRR Angry Fists...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Until there is a cure there is Curel

This morning, I woke up at 4:30am with high hopes of going to the gym. After actually getting up and out of bed, I had horrible stomach pain. Wasn't too sure what it was, but when nothing seemed to be helping it, I decided I was just going to go back to bed. I couldn't run with stomach pain!

Sleep actually did help, but while getting ready for work, thoughts of guilt and failure crept in; thinking that I had only made it to the gym 2 mornings this work week. My bare minimum is 3 days during the work week. I decided that I would make it up, by running outside during lunch...and so I did. Happy to say that I was able to get 4 miles in (going at snails pace) during my lunch hour. I didn't want to be too sweaty coming back to work; plus 80 degrees @ 12 thirty with no water (I'm not smart like that)....

I forgot how much I enjoy running outside. I always end up on a treadmill, but outside it is so much nicer. Fresh air, open space, birds, different scenery...makes for a lovely run or in my case jog. I should attempt to run outdoors more often.

So yippy!!!! I'm not as big of a slacker as I was feeling like this morning.

Dating Chronicles # 9, Long hair tattoo boy

Long hair tattoo boy, aka Joshua, was another "catch" that I met while working as a TPS at Target. It was my senior year of college, when James and I were on yet another "break."

Joshua was 19, and I was 21. I was in school, and he was a townie, living in his grandma's basement. The first time that I saw Joshua, I was attracted to him, not in a sexual way. He was so different from anyone I had ever befriended. He was tall, well built, had long flowy hair, that was almost as nice as mine, and tattoos all over his body. He was mysterious and I was curious.

I realized that I would follow him around the store...being a TPS I didn't really do work- so I followed this 19 year old boy around like a little puppy dog. I didn't even realize that I was doing it, until I found myself in the back room helping him put saran wrap on a huge transfer...I enjoyed talking to him, our lives were completely different, we had absolutely nothing in common- I think that is why I was so attracted to him. I wanted to learn about him, attempted to get an understanding of what moved him, what made him decide to put ink all over his body.

In my mind, this attraction that I had towards him was nothing more than curiosity...I didn't want to date him- he was 19, I couldn't even go to a bar with the kid. I think that is why I was able to be so open and comfortable around him. I could be myself without any hesitation or insecurities coming into play. He was nice, and I enjoyed conversating with him.

My senior year of college, I attempted to deactivate from my sohority...I had enough...wished that I had never even rushed. I was not allowed to deactivate they needed me for my GPA (so sad) but I didn't attend any sohority functions, or pay dues. My so called "friends" stopped talking to me because I betrayed the "sisterhood." WHATEVER! Needless to say, I found myself friendless, so I had to go outside of my bubble...and I became friends with my coworkers.

One night, a group of us were going to go to some girl's house (her name couldn't tell you), Joshua was closing with us that night, so I invited him to tag along. Funny how alcohol can bring out feelings you never knew you had. All I remember from that evening is busting out into some porn-like dance routine in front of all my coworkers...great! I should add that at this point in my life it was a "goal" to be the token white girl in a rap video...lets just say that I got skillz.

After my performance, Joshua was at my side, complementing me on my skillz, for being a white girl....correction I'm a Mediterranean Islander. Soon after, the two of us started dancing and I started to feel warm fuzzes inside every time we'd brush up on each other. I was confused- really from this 19 year long hair tattooed, no, it just must be the alcohol.

The next night, somehow Joshua and another coworker of mine (Ryan) ended up coming to my place for movie night. It was known the Ryan had a crush on me, but I did not want anything to do with him in that way. He reminded me too much of James- same personality, same likes...I needed something/someone different. It was a little awkward...watching movies with theses two who was clearly interested in me, and the other one who I was crushing on. We watched movie after movie that night...some how in the middle of it all, I realize that Joshua and I are holding hands...WTF how did that happen?

I remember wanting Ryan to go home...wondering why he hadn't yet. Finally, after the 3rd movie was over, I had enough and I said it was my bed time. Ryan, being the nice guy that he is left without question. Joshua was going to walk out with him, but then lingered behind saying that he had to use the bathroom real quick. The second that Ryan was gone, Joshua and I turned to each other and started making out.

I must add that it is one of the best make out sessions that I have ever had. His lips, his touch, man just thinking about that night can stir something up inside of me. We made out for 3 hours straight...I was on cloud 9. Our relationship moved fast, I was just trying to fill the void that James had left. By the end of week one, he was already my boyfriend, we had the sex (thumbs up...those tall skinny boys I tell you!), probably had our first fight by that point too. Lets just say that Joshua was dramatic and intense and he was also republican. I knew that our relationship was going no where. I knew that somehow James and I would end up back together, and that Joshua would be nothing more then a fling.

Joshua was nice and I liked him, but he was alot to handle. We fought nonstop about politics, religion, his jealousy issues, his lack of acceptance of his illegitimate child, and his sexual orientation...I was certain that he swung both ways. It was a short lived relationship with many highlights and lowlights:

Joshua listened to very different music then I did, in my time dating him he introduced me to what I consider angry punk music...I started to listen and enjoy bands like 3 days grace, slipknot, bowling for soup, and yellowcard. To this day I still like listening to the cd's that he made me.

Joshua was a very sexual person and together...well it was phenomenal. Marathon after marathon I tell you. One night we got through the karma sutra (I'm really flexible). I'm a fan of exploration and Joshua shared my passion in trying new things...that is probably the only thing we had in common.

So, Joshua was a phase in my life. I wanted to be naughty and adventurous...he was the perfect person. He had holes and tats all over his body, I could put my pinkie finger through his ear. He had worked at tattoo/piercing shops and had all the equipment to give them. I watched him give my friend a tattoo in my apartment and he pierced me porn style type. LOL. Yes, for 3 months of my life I had my inner labia pierced. It was the craziest thing that I have ever done in my did enhance if you get my drift. Oh man...good times.

Joshua had a friend named special K, and one night he introduced me to him. Special K put me to sleep and the next morning I didn't wake up feeling so great. I ended up throwing up on a girl at McDonald's...yea I never hung out with Special K again.

Joshua was not athletic at all- the sweetest thing that he ever did for me was buy Rollerblades so he could rollerblade with me. It was the cutest thing...he kept falling, but he'd get up and try again. I will never forget that.

I loved the way that Joshua would look at me, once glance, and he had me melting. Our relationship was very physical and one look could explain it all.

Ok enough with memory lane...why did we break up? Remeber how I said that we fought about his sexual orientation? Well, I think that Joshua had a secret love affair (or at least wanted to) with his friend Charely who worked at Steak and Shake. He would go there and sit there for hours waiting for Charely...creeped me out. There was also his friend that he had a pet name for...can't remember. I was sure that they were gay lovers though. Then, there was the fact that he was going through a divorce and failed to mention that to me. Hello buddy your 19...he also asked me to marry him and run away with him- yea that was a big fat no.

James came to visit one weekend and I told him he could stay with me- Joshua not so happy with that. I didn't care, things with Joshua were fizzing out. There is only so much fighting and making up a girl can do. When Joshua would not pick me up from a bar (he was mad at me for going out with my friends) and told me to take a cab home- it was over and done with.

I have no clue what happened to him- I know went back home, to live with his parents- but the last time I heard from him was in 2005. My guess he is either dead or in jail. He was an interesting phase of my life; a great story to share and left me with memories that will last a life time.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Narrow Minded

A few days ago, I came across a radical right wing blog. There was an entry about how Russians refused to shake hands with President Obama. I had done some research on the issue; I found it very unbelievable that a country would invite a president and then snub him. Even if they hated him, in public they wouldn't behave in such a way. I learned that Obama was not snubbed by Russians, but that he was introducing President Medvedev to some coworkers who traveled with Obama to Russia.

I like to believe that I am not a narrow minded person, I keep an open mind, and listen to what other people have to say about an issue before making any sort of assumption or judgement. Ok...I'm not perfect- I do make fun of/judge people sometimes but only if they are just plain stupid. When it comes to religion and politics though, I will hear the other guy out.

So, I found this blog that is all about bashing Obama- which, if that is your thing knock yourself out. It does make me angry though, when people judge based on lies. So, I thought that I would leave a comment to this blogger, letting him know the facts of what really happened, and that he shouldn't go around spreading lies about people when he is ill-informed. All his comments require approval; and I noticed that every single comment on his entire blog agreed with all his positions. I find it hard to believe that someone with such radical right ideas would never have one person disagree...turns out- he only allows fellow radical right comments to appear. Freaking ass would not publish my comment.

Not going to lie, it angers me; I know that it is silly and insignificant, but come on buddy. It's not cool to be so narrow minded, and stuck in your ways that you won't even allow people with a different view point to comment on your blog. Apparently freedom of speech only applies to those with his same point of view...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Finally...some pictures from DC

Friday, July 17, 2009

Poem of the Day

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Happy Blogoversary to me!!!

It was two years ago today that I started my blog. It's so crazy how much my life has changed in the past to years. I originally started this blog to talk about all my wedding planning- that seems like a life time ago.

I hope to celebrate many more blogoversaries...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Is the New Ice Age Coming?

This morning, I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep, @ 4:20AM. I had the windows open and felt's still summer, it's not supposed to be chilly. I grab a sweater and proceed to the gym. Shivering a little, I walk into the gym, and Nancy the front desk woman says to me that the New Ice Age is I stared at her for a few seconds, and then went on my way thinking it's too freaking early for this!

I looked it up as soon as I got to work...apparently every 800,000 years the earth goes through an ice age that lasts for 100,000 years. The time in between is called the Interglacials(what we are in right now) and that last between 10,000 to 12,000 years. Lucky for us, we are near the 12 thousand year mark...WOOT!!!

I also read an article about how we should omit more CO2 into the atmosphere to extend the interglacials...all very interesting. Yea...don't really believe that...especially since they all tend to believe that either 1. the temp is not rising at all, but decreasing, or 2. it doesn't matter if the global temp is warming.

I'm going to believe that some crazy right wing republican came up with this because they don't want car emission standards to go up in 2016. I may be wrong however, we may be headed towards an Ice Age...If I live until 2022 (when it's predicted to come) I will know for sure!

Until then, I will continue to do my part in saving the earth...from global warming.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Quote of the day

"Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back."
Earl Wilson

Since I am all about saving money right now, I'm loving this quote. It is so true; who would of ever thought to use an analogy such as this.

Love it!!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Dating Chronicles # 8, Target Boy

Fall 2003 Senior year of College

The summer before my senior year I got a job working at Target in their security department. The Target in Normal was full of college kids, so I fit right in, and loved working there. My job was a a security guard- ha that is a funny story. Lets just say that most of my time was either spent making fun of people on camera in the back room or talking to other employees. Very productive I know!

Bolt was the team leader of the cashiers...Oooo. We worked the same hours, and became friendly right away. When I first met him, James and I were dating, so my intentions did not go past friendship. When James and I went on a break (the 2nd one) Bolt and I started hanging out more often; which led into us dating. It was for a brief moment in time, and was not serious at all. We did have some fun times though- drinking at his apartment, having an all night dance party (just us two), flirting at work, more drinking...typical college stuff.

Bolt was not looking for anything serious, and either was I, I was still in love with James. It did piss me off that I would always have to be the one to call, ask him to hang out. I asked him why he would never call me and his response was because I would call him. When I stopped calling him, he still didn't really call me. He just figured I was busy. I asked him why he never called just to say hi or see how I was doing...his response because I don't feel the need to. After that...yea it was done and over with.

We were able to remain working together was not really an issue. Plus, 10 mins later, James and I were back together.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

So it doesn't taste like dirty water

While visiting my friends, I tired American coffee for the first time. I normally only drink espresso or lattes. Until last week I refused to try American coffee (what most people would call regular coffee). Mary reassured me that it was good stuff and that I should just try it...she was correct. JC can make an excellent cup of joes.

So, I have made the switch (mornings only); instead of spending $3.41 on a tall Carmel skinny latte from Starby's every morning, I will drink the FREE coffee at work. I bought some sugar free hazelnut coffee mate and it does the trick! I'm even considering buying a coffee maker for my house; I only have an espresso maker. The whole bottle of Coffee Mate was $3.49...I'm so good at saving money.

Speaking of saving money- that is my new goal. I'm going on a strict budget. I'm only allowing myself $150 of spending money a month- that is for drinking, shopping, eating out...(reason why I had to cut everyday trip to Starby's out). I'm trying to not eat out (save $ and calories) as much...though it seems to be what everyone wants to do. Wish me luck on keeping within my budgets...I'm normally VERY bad at it.

However, my car will need to retire soon. Poor Ernesto Alfalfa- yes that is my car's name. He was made in 03 and has $92K miles on him. I'm hoping that he makes it a little longer, but I need to start setting some cash aside. Especially since the car I plan on buying (Toyota Pruis) has an MSRP of $28,078...yea I want all the bells and whistles. I'm such a nerd, I went on their website and built my own!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Welcome back to the daily grind

The 4th of July has come and passed; during childhood, that would mean that back to school was fast approaching. I really do wonder where time goes- it comes and goes so fast. There is always so much that I want to do, but never feel as if there is time to get it all done.

This weekend, I was able to do one thing that I have wanted to do for a long time- visit the best friend and her bf in DC. They actually live in Annapolis, which is about 40 min outside of DC. It was so nice to get away from here and be somewhere else. I went on a White House tour, saw the Mall again, and went to a few museums and saw the fireworks on the Mall...they were amazing! We also went on a tour at the Naval Academy; it is beautiful! I will post pictures later.
It was just so nice to be able to spend time with the people I love; today it's back to work. I must say that I was uber proud of myself for getting up at 4:30Am and making it to the gym. Yeay go me!!! It was also great that my dizziness did not return!!! I was feeling good the whole weekend.
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