Little Sicily Shares All...





Thursday, April 30, 2009

List of eights

Jeney tagged me in this and since I enjoy reading her blog I decided that I would fill my list of eights.

8 Things I look forward to:
1. Drinking a latte in the morning.
2. My condo remodel being complete.
3. Summer
4. Hanging out with friends, especially when it includes drinking!
5. A good workout
6. Being tan…I feel so pale lately
7. Sunday lunch with my family
8. Spending quality time with the people I love

8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Closed down the bar with my friends (after Brit Brit concert)
2. Went to breakfast with KC
3. Watched Bride Wars…btw I thought it was so cute!
4. Cleaned my condo
5. Went grocery shopping
6. Watched Lost with LH
7. Had streak for dinner…that I cooked!
8. Framed more pictures

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Receive a paycheck without having to work
2. Travel the world
3. Donate more to charities or donate my time
4. Fly
5. Predict the future
6. Make world peace
7. Change someone’s life for the better
8. Eat cupcakes everyday and not gain 1 pound

8 Shows I watch:
1. Lost
2. Law & Order SVU
3. The Unusuals
4. Bones
5. House
6. Brothers and Sisters
7. Desperate Housewives
8. Cold Case

8 Bloggers I’m tagging:
1. Quarter Century
2. Children of the 90’s
3. In so many words
4. How did I get here
5. Love, Shannon
6. My Edition of Gab
7. Differential Diagnosis
8. Circa 1982: Ramblings of a Little Brown Girl

Top 5 Reasons Women Drink

1. Cheating Men
2. Lying Men
3. Insenstive Men
4. Helpless Men
5. Lack of Men

Back to life, back to reality

It is always difficult to take time off of work during the middle of the week and then get back into it for me. I’m struggling today. I think that the weather: rain, rain, cold, and more rain definitely has something to do with it.
Britney Recap:

I was ecstatic when I found out she was going to go on a comeback tour. I didn’t care what the price was, as long as it wasn’t over $250…hehehe, I was going to go to her show! It was so worth it. She did such a good job and I’m happy that she did. It was awesome! The show was amazing. There were some very talented acrobats in her show. I was blow away. Literally, jaw down stunned look of amazement. All of the costumes where fun and sparkly. I don’t care what anyone says, she looked damn good. I had been backstage before the concert and had seen some members of the circus and the dancers. It was fun when they came on stage because I “knew them.”

I have been a Britney fan since day one. I was sad when her and Justin broke up, devastated when she married Federline, and disappointed when she was getting in trouble and her family was not helping. Through it all, I still loved her music. I consider Britney to be our generation’s Madonna. Poor girl gets a lot of shit. Granted, she has made some of the most ridiculous mistakes ever, but give her a break. I sort of hate how the media exploits her and every other celebrity…they are human too and we all make mistakes and do dumb shit.

After the concert we had to wait in the longest line ever for a cab ride back to our hotel. Can I just say that I loathe bitches who think that they are above waiting in line? I kid you not, stupid mother fuckers kept trying to cut in line and steal cabs. Thankfully there was a police officer there, making them get out of the cabs and going to the end of the line. The one girl started calling my friend a cunt after the officer told her to go to the back of the line. I’m sorry, but that is so trashy in my opinion.

When we finally did get a cab the five of us all jumped for joy…yes we are such girly girls. Next stop- hotel bar! Apparently we had a little too much to drink, because apparently we were screaming in our hotel room (we thought we were only talking). Our lovely neighbors banged on our walls multiple times apparently that was to shut us up? And then proceeded to call security on us not once, but twice. Funny thing is, I heard our friendly neighbor call and complain about us the 2nd time, so the walls are paper thin…We ended up switching rooms and not being “evicted” from the hotel as the security guard had threatened.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's Britney Bitch!!!

I am the happiest girl on the face of the earth right now because I’m going to the Britney Concert tonight!!!!! AHHHHH I’m so excited! I have been in love with her music sing I first heard “Hit me Baby One More Time” while shopping at Contempo Casuals- oh how I miss the 90’s. Lucky for me, I can read all about them here.

Not only am I going to the concert, but I have backstage passes…HELL YA!!!! Thanks to JD’s sister who is an awesome chef for the tour! I’m so excited, we get to attend a cookout, see the tour busses, and some of the dressing rooms…I can’t wait!!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

It's official...I'm all grown up and my bedroom proves it...the pink is all gone!

I bought my condo over three years ago when I was 23. I was all excited about having my own place. I wanted my condo to reflect who I was- fun and colorful. That is how I needed up with a bright green martini themed kitchen, a bubble gum pink bedroom, and a bright blue under the sea bathroom. It was all very cute and I loved it…well besides for the bright blue under the sea bathroom…that was the first to go. I had painted it, because I was all excited about having a blue bathroom- turns out- I’m the worst painter in the world. I am no longer allowed to paint walls, only supervise. Even though it was repainted- it still looked horrible.
In 2006 my bathroom was redone…See “Wait...I thought it was April”
I have been thinking about redoing my kitchen for a long time. I wanted to gut it out and start fresh. The current economic crisis has deterred me from doing that. I looked at the comps for other condos in my building/area…it is safe to say that I have already lost over $20K. So why spend a shit load of money on a kitchen? I have decided not to do that. Instead, I will take away the bright green and paint the walls a taupe color. I am also getting rid of the martini theme…thank god! You can see that I had a martini (magnet) glued onto every cabinet. That was to cover up holes that were in the middle. The handles used to be right in the middle WTF right?

The cabinets will be glazed over with a rust color…my colors will be forest green and rust orange. My inspiration came from: Yes, that is correct a kitchen towel that I purchased from...Target!

I wanted my dad to cut arched holes out of my kitchen walls and make a little breakfast bar. However, for some unknown reason, there are too many pipes that go through those walls. I don’t want this to be a huge project, so I’m over that idea. Instead, I think that I will just opt for something like this:
Sorry, taken from my cell phone- not the best photo. I think that a little breakfast bar area with some extra storage would be great.

I have also spruced up my living room/dining room.

These shelves are in my dining room. Thanks to the help from my sister, I think that they now look awesome. No longer are they bare and drape looking. They look like they have life to them now!
I bought new couch pillows...I used to have 2 brown and 1 tan. The blue and greens really add. I love them. They are from World Market. I'm going to buy one more of the white flower pillow, so each couch will have one. The coffee table is also new, purchased from IKEA. I used to have a glass one that I purchased with the coach set, but I decided that I hate glass because no matter how many times I try to clean it, it still looks dirty.

Close up of the pillows: I have also purchased bamboo sticks. This is very exciting for me. I have always wanted some, but for some reason never bought any. I love the look of the bamboo with the rocks! Thanks again to IKEA! Now…on to my bubble gum pink room- it has been transformed! (I will have to dig up pictures of my pink room) It is now a creme color, and it more grown up. Amazing how a color can do that! It now has a very earthy and organic feel to it. I absolutely love it! I have used most of the same things in it too. I bought these pictures from IKEA right after the ex moved out. I knew that I wanted a more earthy feel to my room. I think that placing them all together on one shelf really makes them stand out more and makes them more of a focus in the room.

Instead of the 3 pictures and huge mirror, as it was before, this painting also from IKEA (love that place) is hung over my bed. This used to be in my living room. The pillows are actually from my living room too, since I bought new couch pillows. My devout cover is from Target- that was also purchased after the ex moved out- couldn't use any of the same bedding...that is just wrong. The tall vase with the sticks is from Target. The vase used to be in my dining room, hidden, with different sticks in it. I recently just bought new brown and green sticks from Target and I thought it brought it too life. I have 2 of them. So one is in my bedroom and the other is in the living room.


I've also wanted a little tray to put cute girly things ie lotion and perfumes. Just a side note, the lotion in the blue bottle is awesome!!!

I hope that I am able to keep i this clean at all times, it just looks so much better when everything is so nice and neat.

There will be more changes to come! I'll have to do another post later. I'm so happy with the direction that my remodel is going. Like I said, I don't want to spend a ton of money, but I want to give it a fresh updated look. I no longer need screaming wall colors to show my personality.






Chicago...the best city ever!

Friday was my day off (every other Friday I have off!!!!) so, after working out, I decided I was going to go to the City and pretend to be a tourist for the day. I actually do it a few times a year, and it is always such a fun day for me. I like to go alone- that way I don’t have to worry about what anyone else wants to do- it’s all about me.

I went up to the Hancock Observation Deck and took lots of fun pictures, walked around a lot, got the yummiest Intense Dark Mint Sundae from Ghirardelli Chocolate. I was randomly walking and I found the “Regale Beagle (anyone who watched Three’s Company knows what I’m talking about). I went inside because I was curious…the actual bar did look like the one on the show, but everything else was sort of a disappointment. I thought I was going to walk into the 70s, but I did not get that feeling. It was cool though…it could just use some improvements!


For lunch I went to Pierrot Gourment, it is a little café that is attached to the Peninsula Hotel. The food was delicious!! I had a cup of Shrimp Corn Chowder- by far the best soup that I have ever had. I was so impressed. My meal was this French flat bread with pesto, onions, and shrimp. Also very scrumptious! It was the best $30 lunch (without alcohol) that I have ever had.
Looking North from the Hancock

View of Navy Pier From the Hancock


The Regale Beagle

Can you find the buiding that looks like a flask?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Quote of the Day

If you wait until you’re really sure, you’ll never take off the training wheels.
Cynthia Copeland Lewis

I mostly agree and slightly disagree with this quote; depending on what angle I look at it. Agree, because if you are too afraid to try something new or different, you’ll never gain any experience. You will go around being naïve to the possibilities of what could be. You will keep repeating the same behavior without any growth. You may wait too long and the opportunity passes. Disagree because sometimes I think that people act without thinking things through. Spontaneity is a wonderful, but at the same time it could get you into a lot of trouble.

I have been at both spectrums…I have thought about the possibilities of what could happen, how this would affect people around me, and what would they think of me to the point of losing out on the chance to even attempt to make it work. I have also acted too quickly and later kicked myself in the ass for doing what I did. I want to strive to be in the middle. I don’t want to wait too long, or plan too far in advance, because you never know what will happen. In the same light, I do think that I should at least take a minute to think. I know that I will not always make the right choice, and I am ok with that. Mistakes are learning experiences. I would rather try something then look bad and wish I had.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Earth Day!




Tuesday, April 21, 2009

On Target

I have been keeping track of my steps for 15 days now; and I have 15 left to go. I thought I would take a look at my progress. So far I have walked a total of 191019 which is equivalent to 95.51miles. So I have reached and actually exceeded my goal so far. On average, I have reached 6.37 miles a day. I hope that I am able to stay on target till the end. I have been cutting it close on some days. I have also the last few days been slacking off on going to the gym.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sister time

I had a great weekend hanging with my sisters! It was so much fun, and reminded me of the good old days when we all lived at home. When we would spend hours together, shooting the shit and goofing off. The days prior to the stresses of adult life; mortgage payments, houses to clean, husbands, stress, and responsibility. All the wonderful things that we get to deal with all a daily basis…ehhh.

Friday was our cousin dinner. We went to Cabana Charlie’s in Woodridge. It has been my favorite place lately because they have sweet potato fries. I’m such a nerd! There was lots of talking and lots of drinking. After dinner we went to Pazzos, which changed its name over a year ago, but I don’t care- it will always be Pazzos to me. More drinking, a lot more drinking, I’m sure that I acted a fool and gave TMI. My sister’s have banned me from telling any story that begins with “this one time when I was in college….”

Saturday…I woke up not really remembering all that had happened…oops. That is always a classic sign that you have had a little too much to drink. Hangover? Not so much, I’m lucky I don’t get them; I always drink a glass of water before going to sleep- works like a charm every time. Though I was not hung over, I was still half drunk and asleep when my sister’s dragged me out the door to make it to our eyebrow waxing appointment. All the alcohol in my system helped me out…I barely felt a thing!

The remainder of the day was spent shopping…yes, that is defiantly one of our favorite pass times. It was actually one of the most fun shopping adventures that I have had. Drunken shopping fun…who would of known?

Highlights:

Walking around Hobby Lobby with a blue foam visor (my sister’s idea).

Playing with all the decorative grapes, adding my own special touches. I should have been a decorator.

My sisters coming up with awesome ideas on how to redecorate kitchen and bedroom: Myriads, geckos, lizards, garden decorations, dogs, monkeys, golf, seashells, and walruses. It’s amazing how Home Goods would be able to furnish it all!

Laughing hysterically with and at my sisters.

People staring at us because we are loud and laughing hysterically at the most random stuff.


Portillos and Starbucks…yummy! It was first beef sandwich in probably 4 years…it was so damn good.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Light as a feather, stiff as a board

Tonight I have a sister/cousin dinner and sleepover, with my 2 sisters and my 2 cousins. When I was younger, we would hang out with them all the time- along with our 8 other cousins. Whether it be a holiday, a birthday, or just a random together. It was so much fun to have everyone around. As we got older, the families started to drift apart. Some moved to different states and some just stopped talking to each other.

Most of them are 3rd cousins…I’m Italian so you can be my 10th cousin and still be consider close family. Even though we are 3rd cousins, we all have/had the same last name. My grandpa and his brother married my grandma and her sister. How cute is that! I’ve always thought that it was super adorable…granted, I think it has everything to do with the times…you needed chaperons for your dates!

I wish that we (the children) would have been able to keep in touch better throughout the years. Facebook and myspace have really actually helped to bring us closer together- that and the death of our grandparents/great uncles. I think that it is very sad the death brought us closer together again, but at the same time I’m glad that it did. I love my cousins- they are good people and fun to hang out with.

They were joking about freezing bras…taking it back to 7th grade! So I will make sure that I’m not the first one to pass out…lol. I also suggested that we play light as a feather, stiff as a board…but no one responded to that one. Was it just my friends and I that would play that game? I thought it was a staple to jr. high sleepovers…

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Quote of the Day

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Iowa, the Progressive State

“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal...”
Iowa and Vermont have legalized same sex marriages.
How is Iowa more progressive then Illinois? Illinois is attempting to pass a Civil Union Bill that would afford the same rights of a marriage to same sex couples, opposite sex couples, and seniors. Until I read about Civil Unions, I was not aware the seniors can be denied the right to get married. Greg Harris, a state representative, is the force behind House Bill 2234 in Illinois: The Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act. The bill has passed through the committee and is awaiting approval from the full House.

The Bill would allow for:
· Medical emergency decisions to be made
· The right to make funeral arrangements and control the disposition of the remains.
· The right to hospital room visitations, the right to share a nursing home or hospital room.
· State spousal benefits ie: pensions and work comp benefits should the partner pass.
· Right to property, right to be civil actions like wrongful death and emotional distress.
· Domestic violence protection
· Tax relief for partners at the state and local level

One downfall of a Civil Union is that it is not recognized on a federal level, and different states have different laws.

I do not understand why this is still a fight. How is a gay or lesbian any different from a heterosexual person? We all work, pay taxes, pay bills, and are members of society. Why should people be treated like second class citizens based off of who they love? We all need to be given the same basic rights. It is a disgrace that all citizens are not treated the same in this country. It really bothers me that there are so many people against Civil Unions because the Bible says…I have said it before and I will stand by it again…religion causes fights.

I really hope that the Bill passes. People who say it will ruin the institution of marriage- I have news for you- it already is ruined. 5.5 couples out of 10 who get married will end up divorced in this country. What about people that marry 5 times and over (yes I know someone who was married 5 times). It was not too long ago that Bi-racial marriages were illegal. It was only in 1967 that the Supreme Court ruling of Loving V. Virginia ended restrictions on bi-racial marriages.

I know that I would want to be given the same rights if I were in a committed lesbian relationship. I could not imagine not being able to make critical decisions for my loved one. Why do people care so much; isn’t it all about love? If Christianity teaches love, forgiveness, and tolerance, then why would it teach that people who love others of the same sex are sinners? Isn’t that counterproductive?

I think that MLK knew what he was talking about when he said:
“an injustice to anyone is an injustice to everyone.”

Monday, April 13, 2009

Emotional Spill...to be blamed on the weather

It is crazy how much has changed in a year. I’m not sure where to start. Last year I was engaged; wedding date was to be May 30, 2009. It was around this time last year that the break up occurred. It was a rough break up. The ex and I had lived together for close to 2 years. When we had first starting dating, and he was slowing moving in, he would say “I have 51% ownership, so if we break up it’s mine.” Of course it was funny back in the day, but when it was happening, and he was taking all of his 51% ownership items…not so fun.


It was heartbreaking for me to see him go; I did love him. He is a great person, generous, fun, hard working, etc…he was my (boy) best friend (no one can replace Mary). I knew that being with him forever would not work out in forever land. Though the decisions that I made prior to the break up were not the best course of action, and I knew it was not right for us to be together, but it was still hard for me to accept the failed relationship. For a while, I tried to make things work…begged him to come back. I was scared, alone, and he is all that I knew.


Craziness occurred and I am thankful that it did. It helped me to clearly see that it was not written in the stars for us to be together. Not that it made it any easier…it took me months of crying to really start believing that it would be ok. I’m a private person; only when it comes to emotional issues that greatly weigh on me. On the outside- I played it off as if all was well. That I finally had a chance to be on my own and I loved being free of the ex. Then, I would go home and finally be me. I would cry for hours on end. I couldn’t be away from home for too long because I needed my time to break down and cry. I would go from one extreme to the next…not eating to eating mounds of chocolate and greasy food. Swearing off all men to dating a 45 year old man. It was hard for me to sit still, hard for me to concentrate at work, hard to be around my family and friends. I obviously did a good job in fooling them…Now, since it no longer holds that same emotional significance, I can talk about it freely.


It has come up, since my sister is going through it. She and her hubby are going getting divorced. She, unlike me is able to talk about her feelings. She is suffering and I’m attempting to help her through it. I know what it feels like (maybe not on the same level, since they are married), but I get it. She is surprised that I felt they way I did about the ex. Her exact words: “I had no idea.” Of course she didn’t because I made sure that no one knew.


Our family dynamics have surely changed. My parents are sad, my mother wondering what she did wrong, crying, yelling, and displacing blame. It is taking a toll on me; I try to act like it doesn’t affect me, try to be strong for my sisters. Tell them that things will get better, that in the long run they will be better off. I wish that I had better answers for them, but I don’t. Love hurts and love is blind. I often wonder if it’s worth the risk…loving someone fully with your everything knowing that, chances are, it won’t last. That all you have built together will come crashing down.


This is depressing…damn the weather. Yesterday it was Spring- today Winter has made a return.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Spring has Sprung!

I woke up happy this morning, the sun was shinning, and I felt a light breeze coming through my windows. I was able to take a nice walk to Community Park, my favorite park.
It is such a pretty park...home of my favorite bridge. It was just so nice to be outside enjoying nature. Makes me so happy, calm, and at peace.



I was also able to wear sandals and a dress today!

Happy Easter!!!

Why is this fing thing so hard to put together?

I left my house around 9am and I'm just getting back now, at 12Am. It has been a long day. Breakfast, shopping, putting together a granny cart by the way I'm slow because they are supposed to be easy to put together- um no it took me an hour...WTF, Follow by more shopping.

Tonight was supposed to be a special evening. I had it all planned out and it's upsetting that it didn't work out how I had thought it would. I know that I shouldn't be upset, if someone is sick they are sick. It is just disappointing to me. I put time and effort into planning a nice night, and I didn't even get my chance.

Ok, I'm done being sad about it.

Friday, April 10, 2009

All about nothing

Today started off good, I woke up, went to the gym, ran 5 miles, lifted some weights, used the steam room (love the steam room), showered, had my favorite starby's meal (tall skinny caramel latte and and a spinach wrap). Then I was on my way to Target. I made a list, and planned on sticking to it. Somehow I managed to spend over $100. I didn't find robes that I was looking for, so my search took me to Kohl's- negative, and then to Carson's. I was able to find what I need- it only took 3 hours!

I need to clean my house, but I'm just not at all motivated. All I want to do is sleep...WHAT THE FISH! I'm watching NCIS- why do I love all crime shows?

I'm so sick of being pale...I was thinking about going tanning...I know it is so disturbing that I would literally want to bake in an oven, but I hate being pale (my shallow side, very shallow). I went so far as to looking for a tanning salon (is that correct wording?) I found one that is right by my house- funny that I never noticed, but the reviews were horrible. I don't want to go to a place where they are rude to you, don't have clean beds, and over charge you. No thanks....

Ok enough procrastinating...cleaning time here I come!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

It only took how long?

I was watching the news yesterday while at my parent’s house. I was actually amazed at how much I do not know about current affairs. I would like to start watching the news more often…we’ll see how that works out for me.

I saw a piece on Filipino World War II veterans that were finally awarded some benefits that US government had promised them during the war. Shockingly, they failed to stand by their word. In the signing of the economic stimulus bill, Obama included a lump sum payment for qualified Filipino World War II veterans.
The bill:
Section 1002, Title X of the economic stimulus law [ PL 111-5 ]states that the payment will be made "in the case of an eligible person who is not a citizen of the United States, in the amount of $9,000; and in the case of an eligible person who is a citizen of the United States, in the amount of $15,000."

There are about 15,000 veterans that are still alive, 3,000 living in the states and 12,000 living in the Philippines.

I was just very happy to see that they are finally being recognized.

Thank you President Obama!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My goal is 310,000




I have decided that I am going to track my steps for 31 days. Starting from April 6th to May 6th, my goal is to reach 10,000 steps a day, which is equivalent to 5 miles a day. I was inspired by Lisa from Like a Valentine, who is walking/running a 100 miles in 60 days. It doesn’t matter what I do, whether it be walk, run, bike, aerobic, or non aerobic. I own the best pedometer, the OMRON, and it will track every single step that I take.


Features of the OMRON:
· The unique dual accelerometer sensors let you carry your pedometer in your pocket or bag
· Measures steps, aerobic movement, calories and distance
· Separately displays aerobic steps and minutes walked more than 10 minutes continuously
· 7 day history lets you review a full week of exercise
· Resets at midnight automatically so it's ready to go every morning
· Large display
· Includes Clock
· Detachable belt holder and security strap


I have had the pedometer for over a year. I’m on the wellness committee at my work and I started a walking program last year. Ever since, I have worn my pedometer religiously. I’m lost and feel naked without…hehehe. It really is a great investment!

Quote of the day

Ask stupid questions. If you don’t ask, you remain stupid.
Dr. Alvan Feinstein

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Shame on me

I received a letter in the mail from my condo association. I have been a bad homeowner, breaking the rules. I have failed to take my Christmas lights down...Ooooo. I know that I really should have taken them down by now, but I just forgot to take them down. I didn't think that they were such an eye sore. Especially since there were tons of potholes in the parking lot for several months.

Shame shame on me...

Only 5 days for Heroin...

I was listening to the Drex Morning Show, as I do on the daily, while driving to work this morning. First of all I just want to say that I love, love, love the Drex morning show! They were talking about this girl who was suspended in Fairfax for taking birth control pills at school. The school, Oakton High School has a zero tolerance for pills of any kind. The girl should not have taken her pill at school; she should have just taken it at home. However, she is young, and had started taking the pill at a specific time during the summer, and thought that she needed to still take it at that time. Technically, she is correct, but she could have just switched the time all together. Her doctor and mother should have told her that…she is only 13!


What kills me though is that is she would have been caught high on an illegal drug; she would have only been suspended for 5 days. WHAT THE FISH!!!! How does that even make any sense? An illegal substance is only a 5 day suspension, but a prescribed drug carries a 10 day suspension with the possibility of expulsion?


According to the article I found on this in the Washington Post, even carrying birth control pills is one of the most serious offenses in the student handbook. I’m at a loss for words…
First of all, at least the girl is attempting to be smart about having sex. There is no need for a 13 year old girl to get pregnant. I hope that she is also using a condom to protect herself from STIs. I hate, I mean LOATHE abstinence only programs, because they do not teach what needs to be taught. Teenagers (maybe even pre teens) need to be taught the truth about sex- the responsibility, the consequences. Telling them to abstain does not work…kids are horny and they are going to get it on if they want to. I think that giving them condoms and other birth control will only help. I also don’t think that it will encourage more to have sex…if they want to they will regardless of if they have the availability to a condom or not.


Our country is so messed up…it just makes no sense to me. The message that they are sending is horrible. Take a dangerous illegal substance and you only get a 5 day suspension. Make a smart decision about sex by taking birth control, prescribed by your doctor, and you get a 10 day suspension. Oh god it makes me so angry…

Monday, April 6, 2009

From Flat to Fabulous


Have you seen the infomercial for Bumpits? I made the purchase today. I have been seeing the commercials thinking of how wonderfully easy and cool the Bumpit is...so I went with it. In 2 to 6 weeks I will be the proud owner of 5 of them! I can't wait. Hope that they work as well as they appear to. The testimonals (on their site) have women raving about how awesome they are and how easy to use they are.

I'll be sure to share with everyone if they really are as great as they are cracked up to be!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Wait...I thought it was April

April in Illinois...why do I still live in this state? I could be living somewhere nice and warm, where it doesn't snow in April. I'm so ready for spring and summer. I want to be able to go outside, with out worrying about a winter coat. I want to be able to wear t-shirts and flip flops (yes, I know that flip flops are not acceptable for adults, but I don't care). I want to be able to ride my bike, go for walks, stop to smell the flowers, twirl around in the park, and dine alfresco.

Ahhh summer how I long for you. Please come soon. I'm ready for budding trees; I've had enough of the snow coated.


When I'm sad and or angry, I use retail therapy to make me feel better. It's an illness, yes, that I am aware of. Buying new cute items just makes me feel better. It goes back to my childhood days. When I was sick or my mom wouldn't let me go somewhere and I would be sad, she would buy me presents to make me feel better. Hence why I had about 1000 trolls (I used to love them)!

So what was my choice of retail therapy for the day:
A new shower curtain. I love it! It makes my bathroom look much more fancy. My bathroom was redone (thank you ex finance- I give credit where it's needed) about 1.5 years ago. I have green /stone title that go all the way up to the ceiling. It is so much nicer then the cheappy white title that he replaced. The sink and cabinet and the Jenny over the Jon were also all changed. My favorite part is the granite floor. The new shower curtain really works with the paint color (it's called cookie dough) and the floor. I'm very happy with my purchase!

My retail therapy only helps so much. I still feel bad for hurting the one I love. I really have some things that I want to work on. If I want to be in a relationship, I have to learn that it can't always be about me. I have to take my significant others feelings into consideration. I think that alot of people struggle with this...I think that we are taught to put ourself first. If it's not insta make us happy, I think that we are too quick to give up. Take the easy way out. Could be why the divorce rate is 55%. I want to be in it the good the bad and the ugly, because I really care about the significant other and I want to be the one to love him.

Realization

Sometimes I get so caught up in myself that I don't realize how my actions will affect people that I really care for. I hate hurting the people that I love. I want to be there for them and make them happy. I'm not going to lie at times I'm so self centered and I can't look past my needs and wants. I don't want to be that person...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

life's small accomplishments

I'm very proud of myself for keeping my plants alive. I have had them for over 2 years and they are still healthy and growing. I was not the primary care taker for the first 1 year...the ex finance was. I could never remember to water them. It was one of my goals to keep them alive and I have succeeded. I know that it is silly, but I'm actually proud of myself and a little surprised!


Now off to the gym for a 70 minute run!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Hello Lazy Ass

Leaving work yesterday I was crappy. I debated whether I should head to the gym directly, or if I should go home, decompress, and then go later. Home won…I still had every intention of going to the gym around 7:30ish. I was home a few minutes to 5. TV came on, by 6pm I was already dozing in and out of sleep.

That was my night, all I did was sleep. Hello Lazy Ass!!! Especially since I had gone to PEPE’s for lunch and ate 1000 chips along with my meal.

Oh well…apparently it’s ok to sleep for 12 hours every once in a while. I’m actually surprised that I was able to sleep for 12 hours…that is a new record for me!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

26.5

Today is my half birthday...I know that normal people do not celebrate a half birthday, but I do. Half birthdays are important!!!

This is a good time for me to review my life...

I think that I have been going through a rut of some sorts. I've worked in Insurance since I graduated college., freaking 5 years ago...Oh man I feel old. I've been out of college for 5 years...college is a distance memory at this point.

Insurance was never even something that I imagined to be doing in all my life. I was suckered into and have not gotten out. I know that it is not my life passion, it not a career to me, it's just a job. I want more in terms of a professional life. I have thought about going back to school and I think that is the direction that I should really go in.

When I was younger I always wanted to help people. I knew since high school that I loved psychology and that I wanted to work in the field. It was one of my majors in college and I really had all intentions of pursuing a career in it. Until I got suckered into criminal justice....then thoughts of law school. Working so close with attorneys, I know that is not what I want.

I guess that I am scared to make a move. I'm used to my job, used to all the time that I have. I feel as if I've become complacent. That is exactly what as happened. I don't really have any challenges in my life. It is easy, comfortable, and consistent. Changes are hard, and scary. I could just stay in the same place, continue to work in Insurance, but is that what I really want?

If I want a better life, I need to take charge and take steps in order to ensure that I achieve all that I want...then part of me starts to think ...what if I just keep at it for a few more years? Then, at that point hopefully I'll be getting married and possibly having a baby. I want to have kids, and I want to raise them. I'm a strong believer in raising my own future children...not a day care.

I've told some friends and family members that I want to be a stay at home mom...I never knew that was such a horrible thing, until I started talking about it. They look down on me, don't understand why I would "just" want to be a stay a home mom. How I would want more...what if I really don't? Would that make me a bad person?

I don't think that I could be a stay at home mom if a. I never have a child or b. when said future children are in school....therefore...I need something to fall back on. Hence why I really think that I need to go back to school in order not to be stuck in the Insurance Industry forever.

Next on the list...

Relationships...I have noticed that I continue in the same patterns over and over again. You would think that at some point I would finally get it, but, as of yet- I still haven't found it. What "it" is, I'm still not sure.

Funny how this time last year I was still engaged. That seems like a lifetime ago. Granted that a few days from today last year I would no longer be engaged. I know that I am better off now compared to last year. I was not ready to be engaged then, and I'm even farther away from being ready today. I still have too much to learn and much more living to do.

I don't think that I'm in a bad place as far as relationships go. I think that I'm indecisive though. I think that I just want/expect more from a relationship. Not to the point of living together, but maybe more of a comment? Want to be more of a priority. I keep going back and forth on what I think I want...so currently I'm just not sure; I hope at some point, I can fianlly figure it out.

Along with everything else in my life...above all, I just want to be a good person. I want to be happy with myself and the choices that I make.

Quote of the Day

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.
Abraham Sutzkever
 
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