The saga between James and I did not end there. We were broken up, but he never stopped being part of my life. The second that I broke up with the new boyfriend, we we were back to talking almost everyday. He was the person that I went to- he knew me the best.Once I did find out that he was dating Olga, I was crushed...more so because he was moving to Texas with her. I wondered how, if we had been such great friends all along, he could keep something that important from me.
Eventually, I found another boyfriend and then he moved in, and then we got engaged, and then it ended (that'll be another blog). My friendship with James always remained constant.
Over 2 years after James and I official broke up, I received a devastating phone call...from Olga. James had cheated on her with an old friend from out of state. Her life was in shambles, and she turned to me for advise. Funny, in that very conversation I learned that her and James started dating in May of 04...yes for over a year, James had been dating the both of us. When I found out, it was like breaking up with him all over again. Even though I was engaged to another man, my world was shattered. I tired to be strong, pretend I didn't care because that is what I do. I hate showing emotions...until I've dealt with it on my own- usually comes way later.
I was able to look past James' indiscretions and continue a friendship with him. I know crazy right? I did, because of how he shaped my life. When I was in college, James kept me together. He was my best friend, my mentor, and my lover. I know that he is the reason that I tired so hard in school, why I double majored and still graduated in 4 years. The reason why I worked so hard after school and bought a condo at 23. He challenged me and made me a better person. I have so much gratitude for him, that I could never not be friends with him. Trust me, it was not easy for me to forgive him. I was angry and pissed, and did some really stupid shit to attempt to understand why and how people cheat.
I asked James later why he chose her..."she fought for me." In regards to parents and judgments with interracial dating. I was crushed and disappointed in myself. I wanted to fight for him, but I wasn't strong enough to. Olga was able to do what I hadn't been able to. I wanted to go back in time.
James and Olga recently got married...I was invited to the wedding, but didn't go.
I know that James and I will always maintain some type of friendship. The lessons I learned from our relationship will stay with me for a lifetime.
The Cool Kids on the Block:
4 comments:
It def hurts when people cheat. and when it is unexpected it hurts even more.
(popping in from 20sb)
Its funny how two completely different people can go through some very similar events, even when separated by time and space.
I started to like this girl I've been helping out with school. Well, we help each other out. We motivate each other to keep going and finally finish our degree. Of course, ideally I wish for a better outcome than with you and James. However a friend (of some sort) for life wouldn't be bad either.
Sounds like James was always meant to be a big part of your life, in one way or another. Although it must've been seriously tough to get that phone call from Olga - can't believe you handled it as well as you seem to have done.
Looking forward to reading about the story of your engagement, even though it didn't really work out in the end.
Keep writing. It's great.
I am humbled by your ability to go back in time and remember things; detail by detail. It is a testament to your spirit and your unyielding sense of "you".
You know quite a bit about me and Olga, and you know what I had to do to correct myself--as a man after the last 'episode' with you-know-who in Denver. I had to learn to be honest with you, with Olga, and most importantly, with myself. I had to realize that if I chose not to "man up" and stop making mistakes with people's emotions and lives that it'd finally be the death of me, figuratively.
Even though I'm moved to tears in reading how you saw and see our relationship now, it will NEVER take away the tremendous amount of pride I have for what you've accomplished. You deserve greatness, and as long as you stay grounded and focused, you'll get it.
I've known you for a long time now. 10 years...
I am so proud of you for who you are and what you've become. I owe you a drink when you come to Austin.
Know that I miss you, and Olga does too. So do the cats.
I'll talk to you soon.
James
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