Dating Chronicles # 6, Part 2

After one night of flirting with Jes, I wanted more. How had I been so blind before? He was handsome, fun, kind, caring, and loved being goofy. I think that it was that night that I decided I was going to date this boy. A few days later I had my opportunity. He had asked me to hang out with him (just us two) before in the summer, but I always had plans. One night my girlfriends were going to go hang out with expressway boys, and I refused to go, so I called up Jes and asked if he wanted to hang out. That was the start of it. I hung out with that boy almost every single day after that for over a year.

I still remember all the details of our first date. My hair was up in pigtail little balls, I was wearing dark flare jeans, flipped up because they were way to long on me, a colorful shirt that had 3/4 length sleeves. I thought that I looked adorable...Jes also looked adorable; he was wearing a t shirt and jeans. We went to the park and walked around, sat under a tree and giggled some, he pushed me on the swings. It was so cute and fun, just writing about it brings back the happy warm feelings that I had that evening.

After the park, we went back to his house. He gave me a tour, and we headed to the basement. Before I knew it, we were on the floor making out...I was his first kiss. When our first kiss ended he said "I can't believe I waited 17 years to do that!" It was the cutest thing ever. Ahh the innocence. He moved fast- by the end of the night he was already going up my shirt.

Jes will go down in history as one of my most favorite boyfriends. We would hang out together all the time, and we just had so much fun. We would make up dances to songs...my favorite was Mr. Roboto. He came to all my family holidays, we both worked at the mall (different stores) and would meet up for dinner breaks, we'd do everything together.

His best friend Norm, would hang out with us all the time too. They were attached at the hip. I told Jes that he could move into my locker, next thing I know, Norm is also using my locker. Let me tell you, getting my books out was such a bitch! Norm lived down the street from me, so when Jes came over Norm would too. Many an afternoon would be spent with those two chasing me around my house and my mom yelling at them to be nice to her baby....Oh and Norm also got a job at the mall- so he'd meet us for dinner too...

I remember nights at work when I would just think about how after work, I would be hanging out with Jes, and he would hold me. I craved his touch. Knowing that I would be in his arms after work is what helped me get through it. I worked @ the B.P. (Nordstrom Jr. Department). Dealing with the snotty customers and my coworkers was tough at times.

For his 18th birthday, I decided that I was going to give him the best gift of all...me!!! That's right, Jes was the boy who took away my virginity. I was 17 years old and ready for the sex. We were at his house, in his room- his parents didn't care that we would lock ourselves in his room. I don't remember all the details...I remember that the first time it was over 3 seconds after he stuck it in, but a few minutes later he did redeem himself.

We dated for a little over a year...and it was one of the best years of my life. It was an action packed adventure. We went to homecoming, turnabout, and prom together. I remember we took a little day trip to the city...went on dates all them time (Norm tagged along for some), we'd lay around together. It was my first experience in a "real relationship" only we were still kids.

We had ups and downs during the course of our year together. People get annoyed with each other, and they fight- that is only natural. I hated one of his friends, Bittles. I thought that he was the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. Everything about him sucked. Jes and Bittles started getting closer and closer to each other, and Bittles's personality started to rub off on Jes. I loathe cocky bastards who think that they are the shit- that was Bittles. I saw Jes becoming more and more like him. To say the least, it caused tons of fights between us.

I'm not perfect either...I would make plans for us with out asking and just expect him to want to do it. I would tell my girlfriends that we could drive them places, with out asking. He was also mad at me because he said that I had tried to change him. I would buy him clothes that were not his style (he was a t shirt and jeans kind of boy) I bought him dress shirts. Though he told me he loved them and looked damn sharp in them, all of a sudden I was the devil. We would talk through our fights and issues and then...hehehe it would be make up time!

College was shortly coming, I had already gotten into ISU and Jes's with procrastination he still hadn't even applied to schools. Lucky for him, he was a brain child and could get in where ever he wanted. He decided that he was going to go to ISU too...I was so happy!!! His father (who is super handsome and I had a semi crush on) told him that it was a bad idea to follow his girlfriend to college, but Jes didn't listen. So Jes and I were set to go to school together- I thought it was going to be the time of our lives.

We went to our orientation together and were able to get a piece of the good life early! Somehow, my designated roomie met Jes's and they wanted to hook up for the night. That was the first, and sadly, the only college sleepover that we had. It was an interesting one to say the least...I ended up in the boy's bathroom, half naked, with a burning eye...use your imagination please.

A few weeks before we were leaving for school, Jes broke up with me. He had been acting strangely, not really wanting to hang out alone, not wanting to make plans too far in advance, meeting me places instead of picking me up. I didn't really think anything of it, my cousin from Italy was in town, and I just didn't make the connection. I remember the break up. He were sitting in the back seat of his parent's mini van at the park. I thought that we were going to get it on...funny how life works! He told me that he wanted to break up, that I was the only girl he ever dated, ever kissed, ever loved, and ever slept with. He told me that he wished that he would have met me later on in life. I was broken. Tears could not stop coming down my eyes. We sat in his car for hours, crying and holding each other. It was the saddest day of my life at that point.

I couldn't function for the next several days. I tried going to work, and all I could do was cry, I went into Target and cried, everything and everyone reminded me of Jes. He was on a family trip to Florida, so I barely talked to him. I thought that my life was over, and he was in sunny Florida. How could he do this to me?

When Jes came back from Florida, we started hanging out again. We weren't dating, though I'm sure I begged him everyday...so sad and pathetic I know. The day to move to college, arrived. I was so nervous...leaving home for the first time, living with new people I didn't know, in a new place. Move in day was a blur. My sister and Mary, along with my parents helped me move in. I was in shock, wasn't sure what to expect. Saying good bye to them, especially to Mary was so difficult. In the process, Jes called me and said that he was in my building, and wanted to come up. I suddenly felt calm, the nervousness went away.

The first week that we where at school, Jes and I hung out pretty regularly. I do remember one night when I was in his dorm room with my new roomie and he was being such a dick. I didn't understand, but I remember going home that night and crying, and deciding that I was not going to call him anymore. For the most part I didn't; but mutual friends visiting did bring us together. Being at a party with your ex that your still in love with is a bad bad bad idea to say the least. In one night, I managed to make out with Norm, make out with a girl, throw up on a friends shoes, tell a random boy who lived on my floor that I thought he was cute (2 min later he saw me making out with Norm...great...errr). I ended up crying myself to sleep that night.

Jes and I were also lucky enough to have a class together...awkward. It was horrible. I hated going to that class, it was dreaded at all times. I hated that what we had fell apart so quickly. I have lots of embarrassing stories to tell about how I was such a jack ass towards him. Most involve me being drunk and yelling at him. My performance of calling him a "fucking pussy" in my dorm cafeteria sticks out...

I needed to get my mind off of him; stop obsessing about how good it used to be, because he was no longer interested. I needed to find a new distraction...that equals a new boy; lucky for me, there was someone.

Over the next two years, Jes and I barely spoke to each other. While at home, we still had the same group of mutual friends, but I just tried to pretend he wasn't there. It was too hard for me. I still had feelings for him and didn't understand how he could have stopped loving me.

New Years was horrible...I was extremely drunk, crying about him, and laying in a dog cage...yea I was a crazy. I did decide on New Years Day that I was no longer going to drink...it helped me in more then one way-that is for sure. For 2 years I stopped drinking because I was ashamed of the way I behaved.

Our junior year of college we started talking a little more. We even hung out a few times. I was in a long distance relationship that was starting to get rocky, but I knew that I would not cheat. Jes had recently discovered that his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I felt bad for him, but was deviously happy that the two of them were no longer together. We had gone to high school with his ex and she was bad news starting from our 2nd year of high school.

In our short span of hanging out again, he called me one night (morning) at 4am...asking if I could pick him up and if he could stay with me the night. Damn sohority house rules...no boys allowed to spend the night. Even if that rule was not in tact, I wouldn't have done it...I cared too much about James to hurt him. I did consider it. I told him I would pick him up and drop him off, but he just said sorry for waking me up and that he would walk home. After that, I didn't hear from Jes. I'm sot sure why...I was sad for a little bit, but realized that it wouldn't have turned out how I would of wanted it to anyway. Plus, at that time, I could not imagine my life without James.

We still have a few mutual friends, but I don't really talk to Jes anymore. A few years back, he came to my house (ex fiance was living with me at the time) for a party I threw for Mary...when she was moving to Maryland. It was a little strange for me, but I played it off pretty well. Part of me will also wonder about Jes, he was the boy that I lost my virginity too- you don't forget that. I loved him whole heatedly. From time to time, wish that I would run into somewhere...he lives about 3 minutes away from me, but I haven't. Part of me thinks that it's because I never had my second chance with him. I have recycled so many of my boyfriends, that it is almost unfair to me that I never got the chance with Jes.

I will never forget my time with Jes, or the lessons learned. I'm so happy that I was able to learn and grow from our relationship and everything that occurred after. I will always have bitter sweet memories, because he is the first boy to break my heart...