Pointing your finger or accepting responsibility

Why does everyone wants to point their finger and blame the other guy? I don’t understand why people will not accept responsibility for their actions? I know that this is not a new concept, but lately it has been affecting me more.

IE: At work- I rely on other people to be truthful about the information that they give to me. I ask very specific questions and expect honest detailed responses. The questions may not always be nice or easy to answer…who wants to admit to being wrong right? However, in my job, honesty is the best policy upfront, because if you are not honest with me, the truth will later be discovered. Why spend thousands of dollars on legal bills plus a settlement, when if you could just settle? Recently, of my clients told me that all of my questions were “ridiculous” and that the actions took by certain people were in no way negligent. Well, the truth came out, and well…some of the actions were very questionable. Let’s just say that covering something up with a cardboard box is not the best idea- it doesn’t make the problem go away. What makes me angry, is that now, they are trying to point their finger at me, saying that it’s my fault for believing them…WTfish!!!!

One of my coworkers doesn’t want to be blamed for making the wrong decision on a file, so, in notes, it will be stated that BLANK, BLANK, and BLANK agree with my decision.

IE # 2: My mom tends to point the finger on others all the time. According to her, she is perfect and is never wrong. I love my mother and she is a wonderful woman, but at times, she is hard to deal with. Little things such as misplacing something; she will blame my sisters and I (we don’t even live there). If she forgets something, it’s our fault for not reminding her.

Not to say that I never blame other people, because that would be a lie, but I do believe in accepting responsibility for my actions. What are people so afraid of…if you’re wrong you’re wrong. Is that really such a hard concept to come to grips with? We are human, and in no means are we perfect, no one is expecting us to be perfect.

Quote of the day

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

I must say that I agree with Ms. Keller on this; either you go out and experience all that this world has to offer, or you experience nothing. I actually had a conversation about this during the weekend. If you don’t experience new things, have adventures, and go outside of your normal comfort bubble, you will never grow.

I think that it is important to experience new things all the time. I force myself outside of my comfort zone so that I can have new adventures. Doing the same thing over and over is boring, and there is not a lot learned in the process. Plus, I love having fun stories to share! I don’t want to live my life wishing that I had done more, I don’t want to think about doing things, I want to do them and experience them…now.

This is my time; I’m young, unwed, and childless. If I don’t go out, play, and absorb as much as possible now, how will I when I have real responsibility?

The power of the bike

All day today I was being lazy and felt bla and unmotivated. My friend showed up unannounced on bike and motivated me into riding. It's the first bike ride of the season for me. My tires were in need of some air, and I just hadn't gotten around to it. However, I finally pumped some air in, and was on my way. It was so wonderful; I had forgotten how much I loved riding.

Two years ago, the ex finance and I bought bikes together, and we would go riding together all of the time. It was our fun thing to do. Last summer it was werid for me to bike. It was something that he had gotten me so into and it mad me some what sad to go on rides. Now that I have no emotional ties left, biking is what it used to be to me...fun, exciting, adventures, and an escape.

I plan on going on many a bike ride this year...

Dating Chronicles # 4, Tank

1999 Junior Year Multiple times

The day after I broke it off with JMR, I was hanging with Tank. He had his eye on me since the beginning of the school year. I brushed him off mostly thinking, why is this short kid keep talking to me? I’m not sure what changed my mind about him…maybe he had a cute friend? Somehow, we all ended up going out in a big group and that is when I started to like him. So the night that JMR and I break up, I call Tank to let him know that I was single. He was ecstatic and asked if I wanted to hang out with him the next day after school.

We ended up going back to his house...make out city. Sad thing is, it was painful. He opened his mouth, placed his teeth on the side of my mouth, dug in, and just used his tongue…ouch! I had teeth marks. I gently pushed him away and asked if we could use more lips. He did for a few minutes and then it was back to teeth being dug into the side of my mouth. It did not last long at all.

Our relationship was more like a friendship; I loved hanging with him and talking to him. Actually I don’t think I consider him a relationship. We dated 2 times junior year for a couple weeks at a time, and both times he broke up with me saying he didn’t have enough time for me…jerk!

It was after we “broke up” that our friendship really grew. We would spend hours together, talking, laughing, and goofing around. He was someone that I felt comfortable around and we understood each other. Even while in other relationships and through college we stayed close. We went to school about 45 min away from each other and would visit often. He even came to one of my sohoritie’s dances.

There was always some sort of chemistry between us. Maybe our friendship was borderline inappropriate. We would hold hands, sleep in the same bed, and cuddle (while in relationships) but nothing ever came from it. We did promise to be each other’s backups though… I think that kicks in @ 35 or 37?

Our senior year of college, he was going to DC for an internship. He came to visit me at school one last time before going. He had been talking about us and our future. I had just broken up with a boyfriend, and was semi seeing someone else already…I’m a serial dater! I was such a jack ass to him- I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I just wanted us to stay friends. Somehow, we ended up making out that night (It so hard for me to resist at times). His kissing skills had stil not improved all that much. I was done.

The next morning, as he was leaving, he asked if I’d consider waiting for him; that when he came back, we could work on an “us.” So that I didn’t crush his feelings, I said I would consider. I mean after all, I did really care for him and loved spending time with him.

We didn’t talk that much while he was gone, mostly on purpose on my part. I had started dating the ex again and didn’t want to tell him. When he came home, we insta returned back to our friendship. There was very little talk about an “us,” he had his mind set on moving to DC. According to him, it’d be bad to start any relationship at that point, since he was leaving.

He did move to DC; he lived there for 2 years I think. In that time, our friendship faded into the background. We’d catch up every so often, but it was different. We’d hang out when he come home, but it was almost awkward between us.

When he told me he was moving back home, I was excited, thinking that we could rekindle our friendship. I was wrong, very wrong! When he came home, he had changed. In DC he explored and found his Latino side. Now, he could only date Latina women, everyone else was below him. Of course he found a Latina and they are now in love. I do miss our friendship, our talks, walks, jokes, and laughs. I’m just happy to have all the memories…

I love lemon heads!

I’m in such a goofy mood today. All I want to do is play and giggle. I’m not too sure why this feeling has overpowered me, since I’m trapped inside a box. Maybe because I'm eating a lemonhead...it's wonderful by the way! Or maybe my bumpit has me in an extra "high" mood. Whatever the reason may be, I'm in a grand mood. Loving life at this moment.

I keep looking outside, hoping and wishing that I could be outside, playing in the park. Running, or spinning in circles...I’m giddy that I don’t have to work Friday or Monday, and the weather is supposed to be beautiful all weekend.

I hope that everyone is as happy and cheerful as I am today!

Quote of the day

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.
-Epictetus

What a smart man he was. I think that people (myself) included would be so much happier if I remembered on a daily basis to be happy for what I do have and for how lucky I have been in my life. Compared to thinking about all the things that I don't have and wish I did. How silly it is to waste time being disappointed in what I don't have, instead of being happy and grateful for what I do have.

Origins Rocks

Lately I have been on a beauty kick, this is a little odd coming from me. I don't wear make up and therefore don't really care about having the "best' products for my skin. I was reading Tudor City Girl's blog about her facial mask, and I started thinking about how I could use a mask for a deep pore treatment.

While shopping with my sisters, we ran into the Origins counter at Macy's; the sales woman was very helpful and kind...I'm sure they work off of commission so that would be to her benefit. Point I'm trying to make- I bought some products, and they work excellent. I have been using them for maybe a week in a half, and I already think that my skin looks better. More healthy and young! I even received a compliant about how nice my skin was looking. Love it!!! So here is what I'm now using and a brief description...

Modern Friction™ Nature's gentle dermabrasion

Sand-blasting skin with coarse, chemical crystals? How painfully passé. Here’s age-smoothing exfoliation without irritation. Skin-refining Rice Starch, cushioned in cream, shows real affinity for rapidly removing sluggish cells, uneven patches and signs of skin damage and discolorations. Lemon Oil kick starts the process of illumination. Another age-sweeping action: skin-menacing molecules are mopped up. All while Aloe keeps skin calm and comfy. There’s no ouch, extra steps or other complications. No redness or flaking follows. The before-and-afters are amazing. Signs of fine lines and size of pores appear to shrink in size. Skin looks perfectly polished, smooth and luminous. And the perk-me-up aromas of Bergamot and Peppermint help you look on the bright side.Be free and clear.

Clear Improvement® Active charcoal mask to clear pores
When environmental toxins, dirt and debris get under your skin, its waste-filtering system gets jammed, pores get clogged, skin looks cloudy. Nature’s complexion clean-up crew gets to the bottom of skins overcast condition and clears the way for it to act its best. Activated Charcoal acts like a magnet to draw out deep-dwelling pore-cloggers, White China Clay absorbs environmental toxins, Lecithin dissolves impurities. Without all that “stuff” down there, skin “breathes a sigh of relief.”

Keep your skin in A Perfect World™ A Perfect World™ White tea skin guardian
In an ideal world, skin would never age before its time. Now Origins has uncovered the key to longer-lasting look of youth, health and vitality - utopia’s own Silver Tip White Tea. It helps banish youth offenders long before they cause visible signs of oxidation, deterioration, dehydration. Boswellia sets up a secure sanctuary against age-accelerating static and stress. Without the need to defend itself, skin’s energies are devoted to improvement. Smoothness is immediate. And lush, tranquil Mimosa, Orange and Bergamot sweep over you like a tropical trade wind. Skin has found its Shangri-la.

Dating Chronicles # 3 JMR, the one who corrupted me

1997 Freshman Year, age 14 to 1999 Junior Year, age 16

I was visiting a friend at her locker between classes, looking into her locker, I saw his picture. Brown hair, blue eyes, a baby face, with the cutest smile I had ever seen. I stared at his picture, with drool coming down the sides of my mouth. Before I could even manage to get a sentence out, my friend was on a rampage about how she was going to set us up.

Two days later, I got a phone call from JMR. I was so nervous that I couldn't even talk to him, I had Mary(the best friend) talk to him for me. Somehow, we managed to set up a group date...it would be Mary, Kristin, and I along with JMR and his friend, meeting at the mall. The most memorable moment from the date: me reciting a laffy taffy joke.

It did become less awkward between us in a week. I was infatuated with him. We would talk on the phone for hours, see each other after every class, hold hands, and make out no matter where we where…yes, that includes the hallways, movie theatres, out with groups of friends...ill I know I was one of those girls. His step mother, I’ll call her Bambi because her real name is equally as stripperish was a huge bummer to our relationship. She had all of these crazy rules and wouldn’t always allow him to see me as much as we would like.

JMR told me that he loved me after a few weeks of dating. I remember it was the end of the day, and he walked me to the girls’ locker room so that I could change for soccer practice. We had just finished making out (shocker) and he pulled me close and told me that he loved me. My reaction as a pushed him away…”ill don’t you ever say that again, you’ve known me for how long, you can’t love me- we don’t even know what that means.” At least I was a smart girl!

The first summer of our relationship was like no other summer I had ever experienced. My mom and sisters both had part time jobs, which left me home alone every day. Let’s just say that he was the one who corrupted 14 year old me. He would ride his bike over and we would experiment. It started with kissing and under the clothes petting. By the end of the summer, I had experienced everything but actual penetration. That was just too much for me; I had morals you see, 8 years at a Catholic school does that to a person…lol.

The first time that he went down on me, I was so shocked and disturbed. I didn’t know that people did that. I started yelling at him, asking him what would posse him to do that. I made him wash his mouth out with scope for 3 minutes before I would kiss him again, still badgering him as to why he would do such a thing. His only response was…”I thought you’d like it.” Later that day, I called Mary, and she told me that it was normal. I was super embarrassed after that…

I remember laying naked with him for hours, I was so comfortable and at peace with him. When he would hold me, I felt so protected, loved, and wanted. The feelings were so strong, and I thought that it would always be like that. I could tell him anything and count on him to be there for me. It’s a feeling that I still attempt to have today. I consider this to be my first “real” (high school) relationship. I loved him; purely and truly.

We dated until the middle of junior year of high school. Our years together were filled with so much fun, drama (mostly his step mother), fighting, and love. I can’t go through every memory, because that would take forever, but here are a few highlights:

· Like most high schoolers, we would write each other tons of notes. One day, I got a dirty note from him….oh yea…he wanted to take me to a deserted island, caress me, be inside of me. You get the picture; I was wet just reading it. From then on, we passed dirty notes to each other on a regular basis. His evil and nosy step mother found them. She had the nerve to come to my parent’s house and show them some of the notes that I had written him. Side note- my notes were rated pg 13 compared to his XXX. Bambi was under the impression that I wanted to have sex with her son…which I should add we did not during high school EVER. Lucky for me, my parents did not care to hear about the dirty notes that we wrote each other and did not read them or ask to read notes that he had given to me. They simply told me not to date him anymore…I didn’t listen of course.

· JMR had a good friend named Mary Jane; they were inseparable. He introduced me to Mary Jane, and her and I also became friends. Not as close as they were, she sort of put me to sleep every time I hung with her.

· High School dances…need I say more, we went to 3 of them together.

· He gave me some good gifts…we were in high school- what else do you spend your money on? My favorite was my huge Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal, I was obsessed with Winnie. I also started a collection of precious moments. He still, to this day is the only boyfriend who gave them to me.

· Our sophomore year we had English together. We didn’t have assigned seats in that class, so we were able to sit next to each other. We’d hold hands during class- so lame! One day, our teacher realized what was going on…she flipped out. Yelling and screaming about never in all her years of teaching had this ever happened. Holding hands was the least of our “horrible” behavior. Did I mention that he fingered me during class one day? It was dark (watching a movie), and we were in the back, and I just happened to be wearing a skirt that day. I was young and very silly, not to mention a horny little bastard. Not the smartest...

As more time passed I realized that he was not always Mr. Perfect. I started to get annoyed with his friendship to Mary Jane. She always had to come along. Not to mention that he always wanted to be sexual. Trust me I was a very sexual high schooler, but I didn’t want our relationship to just be about getting each other’s jollies off. That was what it was turning into. He would get angry if we went out in groups because he knew he wouldn’t be getting any. I felt almost forced into having to do things with him to not make him angry.

I’m lucky that I had the best girlfriends in the world to talk to about this. They agreed with me that it wasn’t right that I felt that way. They encouraged me to “drop his ass.” For years, all I could think about was him; no other boys looked appealing to me. Soon after my 16th birthday, I started to notice other boys. Of course none of them were as wonderful as he was- but I noticed them.

We did end up breaking things off. I needed a change in pace and scenery aka a new boy, which came the day after I broke up with him. I move on fast…Err? That was not the end of JMR though; we dated 2 more times after that; freshman year of college for a brief minute and then again right after I graduated college, for another brief minute. After he came to a bar in swim trunks, socks, with slide on sandals, a homemade hat with glued on bottle caps, displayed his lack of rhythm, and played air flutes instead of socializing with our friends, I was done with JMR for good.

Did you see that old white dude in the purple pimp suit?

Warm weather always tends to bring out the drinker in me. I love sitting outside, drinking cocktails, and chatting it up. Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, so I decided that it would be an excellent idea to go to JD’s new place and experience all that Roscoe Village has to offer. We left work at 4:27pm…we arrived at her place at 6:06pm- damn I’m glad that my commute is never longer than 35 minutes on a bad day. I was fearful that I would have had to pee in a bottle. Luckily, I was able to hold it (I have this issue where I pee every hour- no joke).

I was excited to see JD’s place, it is very spacious and cute. I’m very excited for her to have a place of her own. After the tour, out came a bottle of wine and some chips and salsa. Two shots and five Malibu diets later, I was feeling pretty happy. Not to mention that I had the most excellent meal…the shrimps were huge! We started walking back to JD’s place, and decided it was still too early to go home- so we stopped at a little café for another drink.

Have I mentioned that I am sort of a light weight…yes, it’s sadly very true. I was feeling buzzed after the wine at her place. But, I’m a trooper (aka love drinking) so I continued on. We had such a good time…talking, laughing, harassing the poor man sitting at the bar, and texting- yes drunken texting is always a joy! I must have sent 20 texts in a 30 min time period. It’s always so fun to check your phone the next day to see what wonderful little messages you managed to send. Thankfully, only a small % of mine were embarrassing…something to do with a magic wand? Yea…just use your imagination with that one.

When the bar was closing, and we were the only ones left, we headed our way back to JD’s. I had only had 1 drink in about 1.5 hour span, so I was feeling good to drive home. Probably not the best idea- but at the time it made perfect sense. To my surprise, there was stop and go traffic at 1am…only in Chicago!

Moral of the story:

· Always pack a bag with me- I’d be better off staying the night.
· Drunken texts are tons of fun, but are not always the smartest things we say!
· Don’t compare real people to cartoons…apparently its offensive.
· Make sure to get directions home before the drinking starts…and I need a GPS.
· Make friends with your waitress, it’s the best way you get freebies.
· It’s normal and acceptable to restaurant browse.
· McDonald’s can cure all after a night of drinking…

Sofa King

Say it slowly..."our prices are sofa king low!"

My Life in Pictures Day 3 (a day late)

What I love:

There are many people and things that I love; my family, my friends, being outside, shopping, coffee, music, and etc. In round 1 of the picture challenge, I made a collage of many things that I love. This time, I'm only showing my new current love:

My sunglasses!!!! Now, I know that this may appear to be a bit shallow, but there is good reason. I normally have a horrible time looking for sunglasses, for some reason, most make me nauseous and the floor looks very uneven. I'll take them off and still feel sick for a few minutes. I know- very strange. I have had this problem since I was a little kid. So, when I can find one pair a summer that doesn't have that effect on me I think it's wonderful!

I have wanted white sunglasses for a couple summers now, so when I found those (shopping with my sisters in the City) I was so excited, and for $20 how could I go wrong? Then my sister found the red and silver Dolce & Gabbana...also did not make me feel sick. I love them...so cute and chachi, I had to have them. On to H &M, and I feel in love with the yellow ones. They were only $7.90 (LOVE H & M!)

The multicolored pair where my mom's in the late 70's. My sister had them and handed them over to me because she never wears them anymore. My mother had a great sense of style when she was younger. Thanks to her pack rat ways, not only do I have her old purses, coats, bathing suit, but now I also have fun sunglasses!

The brown pair in the middle where a gift from my sister, since I am now responsible for mowing her lawn. Speaking of mowing, until 3 weeks ago I had never mowed a lawn before...I realized that I love it. I get so much satisfaction from mowing.

My Life in Pictures Day 2

My favorite PURPLE item: I love this little purse...it's so freaking cute. Purple has some what become of of my favorite colors, so I have such cute outfits to wear this with!

My Life in Pictures Day 1

Meg is hosting a 2nd picture challenge and I'm going to complete this one through. Today's challenge is something that is a great annoyance to me.

POTHOLES...not only do they cause me to clench my teeth while driving-my commute to work is full of this lovely crater sized potholes. I also get to deal with the aftermath of many other people's encounters with them. I love how friendly people are towards me when I tell them that I they will not be compensated for their loss.

Ahh got to love them! GRRRR

I'm drunk bitches

Need I say more...

Dating Chronicles # 2: Soccer Boy

1996: Freshman year, Age 14

Boyfriend # 2

I had met soccer boy when I was younger, we played on the same Park District Soccer League. Never on the same team, but since I was one of the only girls that chose to play on the boy’s league, I was pretty popular. Sadly, I did not remember meeting him while playing soccer- I remember him from my volunteer work for Confirmation. Every Wednesday during 8th grade I was a youth teacher aide for preschoolers at my church. Soccer boy, who didn’t go to our school, did go to our church, was volunteering as well. I remember thinking that he was cute, fun, and flirty. I was 13 years old…any boy who talked to me was all of the above.

I had a class with soccer boy my freshman year, since I didn’t know too many people yet (early in the year) I started talking to him all the time. I thought that we were just friends, but he thought I was in love with him…oops. So we started to date. It was a very innocent relationship. I was more advanced then he was (at this time I had only experienced a French Kiss). I remember one day after school I tried to kiss him- I went in for some tongue action and apparently scared him off…he pushed me away and asked what I was doing…dar? To make it worse, my girlfriends just happened to be walking by and witnessed this. Yes, I got made fun of for a very long time.

We would go to our church’s youth ministry…well, until we were asked not to come back because we kept making out on the couch all the time. Also got made fun of by friends for that one, but hey at least he learned how to kiss right?

We never went further then kissing. We were able to scare a poor little girl for life though. We were hanging out at the library because that is what cool kids do, and I remember I was looking for this book. He was standing behind me and decided that it would be a good idea to put his hand down my pants (not so much). By the time I realized what was going on, I noticed a little girl coming into the aisle, and yes she saw because she had a horrified look on her face. Poor little thing.

I never had that “in love feeling” with soccer boy. I actually thought that he was a little too nerdy for me, and sort of clingy. Our “relationship” last a mere 4 months. I guess for 14 years that is forever long. One day I just woke up and realized that I was bored with him, wanted to see what else was out there. So, I wrote him a note saying that this was too much for me, that I needed sometime to figure out who I was. That I just needed to be alone. Poor soccer boy he started to cry. I felt so bad, but I knew he wasn’t right for me. I had to let him go.

He thought that we’d get back together but I was already looking…

Picture Challenge Day 3

Today's challenge is: your favorite green item. This is my favorite shopping tote, not only is it green in color, but it's also "green."

Go Green!

Reached & Exceeded!

A month ago, I placed a challenge upon myself to take at least 10,000 steps a day (5 miles). I am happy to say that I have reached and exceeded my goal! I walked a total of 336,494 steps, my goal was 310,000. That is just a little over 168 miles for the month!

Woot!

I want to come up with another challenge; I was thinking of running/walking a specific number of miles in a week for a month. I would only count the miles when they were done for the sole purpose of exercise. In my last challenge, every step I took counted, I will have to work out the details. I want it to be sort of hard so that I will have to work hard to achieve my goal. I need some self motivation since I want to shed some pounds.

My life in Pictures Day 2: The Things I Love

Here are some of my favorite things...we have family, friends, Chicago, Malibu, Christmas, bars, restaurants, cupcakes, changing seasons, tumbola (Italian Bingo- we play during holidays), Florida, and coffee.

Quote of the day

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein

I agree with this statement 100%. You have to keep moving and going in this game of life; if you don’t you’ll fall off. This logic is true in almost all aspects of life: birth, death, an end of relationship, in your career or with education. Even just with day to day life. A body in motion stays in motion. If you come to a standstill there is no progress or growth.

That Albert Einstein…he was something!

Time to get back on track

I decided on Sunday night that I was going to start on my DIY Weight Watchers. I was pretty hard core about (DIY) weight watcher starting in October of 2007. I was counting every point and I stayed on track for about 9 months. After that, I still followed the point system, but not as strictly. Recently, I have just fallen off the bandwagon completely. Chinese and Thai food, pizza, cookies, all types of fried bar food…all the good stuff. I even bought a container of ice cream…it has gotten out of control!

Yesterday was my first official day back on and I made it! I need to have between 18-25 points a day. I had 23.5 points, then ran 5 miles, which equals 4 activity points; so that makes a total of 19.5 points used.

I would like to lose 2 pounds a week for a total of 10 pounds lost by June 8th…just in time for bikini time!

Wish me luck!!!!

Unless you donate $125 or more no shirt for you

On Sunday morning I was in the MS Walk in Naperville. It was a beautiful sunny day, so I was very happy and excited. It was a 2.5 mile walk around the River Walk and downtown area. Last year there were about 1500 people that came out for the walk, and I would not be surprised if there were even more this year.

Last year a group of us started to walk for a bunch of charities; it will continue on this year. I think that they are great events to part take in. I am a huge believer in the sciences and research helps to find cures. It is also nice to be out and about in the community with hundreds or thousands of others who are all there for the purpose of helping. I love the way that people interact with strangers at charity walks...everyone is nice, friendly, and willing to talk.

I hope that this one was the first of many!

My Life in Pictures Day 1

I am participating Meg's picture challenge this week. Today is day one and the challenge was to photograph the place where you feel most at peace. For me, that is outside enjoying what mother earth has given us. I love being near bodies of water. It is so peaceful to me, the sound of water has such a calming effect on me. This picture was actually taken this weekend, along the Naperville River Walk.

Dating Chronicles # 1: Does the psycho give out her number?

I’ve thought about writing a chronicle of my dating/sexual experiences. I have gone back and forth with this, since my blog is not anonymous. I have even considered starting a new anonymous blog, but I love this blog and don’t want to have to deal with another. I have no shame; I know that I am not perfect and that my past relations were not always the best choices. I’m still going to put it out there, because frankly, I have some damn good stories.

I’ll start from the beginning, my first dating experience:

August 1996: Freshman Year of High School, Age: 13
It was my first day of high school; I was amazed at how many people went to my school. I had gone to a Catholic School since 1st grade with all the same people. I didn’t date there, I had crushes, but nothing ever came of them. So high school was going to be my place to shine! So many cute boys that I didn’t know… I was in heaven!

It happened early in the day, I believe that I had gym class 3 or 4th period. Lucky for me, I had a friend in gym class. We walked in together and there he was…the cutest boy that I had ever seen. He had a nice tan, pretty brown hair, green eyes, and he was a cute dresser- so stylish. I was in love! He was short though…since I was shorter, it didn’t matter to me- I had to talk to him. I think that my friend also had a mini crush on him, because she went and stood right next to him…acting a fool as well- she always did. So there she was, being all obnoxious, screaming and yelling about god knows what, and he pulls me aside to ask what was wrong with my friend and why she was such a psycho. My response…”you think she is psycho- no, I’m the psycho one.” Please tell me, who says that? Especially since I thought he was cute…the second after I said that, I thought I had blown all chances. Any normal person would walk away thinking WTF? Oh no…his response…”well, does the psycho give out her phone number?” Again, what normal person would read that as he loves me! 13 year me!

He was my first kiss…and wow was I on cloud 9. I literally thought I was going to marry him after that one kiss. It was perfect; it was outside, on a grassy noel, on a sunny clear day. I repeated that kiss in my head over and over again for days, there was even a little tickle down there…Woooo I have never felt that before! There was a permanent smile on my face that I was sure would never disappear. My poor friend who (a) Had to witness it (oh yes, my mom would not let me go on a date with a boy alone) and (b). Had to listen to me talk about it over and over…Thanks Mary...and I’m sorry.

Turns out, it wasn’t real love. After a mere 2 weeks of dating, my heart was crushed and broken into tiny pieces. He had cheated on me (kissing only) with my soccer buddy of all people. I was devastated, I had been sure that it was true love. How could someone kiss you like that, and then go kiss another girl. Oh young Dani, if you only knew back then. Luckily, my broken heart healed quickly…I had more cute boys to meet!