In memory of Guiseppe Bartolotta

My nonno (grandpa) passed away this morning; he was 93 years old and he died peacefully in his sleep. The last time that I saw him was 3 years ago, when I went to Italy with my parents during spring break. I am so sad that I have not been able to go back in three years. I wanted to see him one last time before he passed. I never really knew my nonno, it's hard when he lived on the other side of the world. When I was a baby, and we lived in Sicily, I would see him all the time. And growing up, I would spend a lot of summers there, but it was hard for me to really get to know him. When I was younger, I remember him being a strong and stubborn man. All he wanted was to go to his farm and pick fruit off of the trees. I remember him having such strong calves.

During the time that I was in college, he had 2 strokes and prostate cancer. The last time that I went to visit, he was not the same man. He was so fragile, so quite, and so emotional. I didn't like talking to him on the phone, because he would always start to cry and it made me so sad to hear him. My father has been going every year once or twice for a month at a time to take care of him. It made my grandpa so happy when my dad was around. My parents were planning on going in January to see him. They are going to take a flight out there tomorrow.

I feel so bad for my nonna. They have been married for 67 years. She didn't want to believe that he was gone. She started screaming and yelling at the doctor, asking why he wasn't doing anything to help him. My heart goes out to her. I could not even begin to imagine what she is feeling. I could not imagine losing a husband after him being there for 67 years. My poor nonna. My dad is going to try to convince her to come back to the states. She lived here 30 years ago, but after the huge snow storm (sometimes in the late 70s) and my nonno being diagnosed with diabetes they went back. He blamed his diabetes on the snow...

I feel for my father. I have never really seen my daddy cry, but today he broke down and cried out loud. He was sitting in the living room with all the lights off, just staring off into space. I sat next to my dad and cuddled him. I haven't done that since I was a little girl. I told him that him and my mom could not move back there when they retired, bc I don't want my children to not know their grandpa. He started crying and telling me that they were not moving anywhere and that he was supposed to see him once last time, that he didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I just sat and held my daddy.

I know that my nonno is in his happy place now. I know that he is no longer in pain. I can picture him being on his farm, picking lemons from the trees. Feeding all the cats the left over pasta, and enjoying life the way he used to. I wish that I would have called or written more often. We get so busy sometimes and forget about the important things. Life is so short and so precious. I want to really do a better job in calling the people that I love, and making sure that they know how much I think about them, how much I care about them.

I love you nonno and I will never forget you...